Christmas is a time for family. So my mate Rachel has decided to see her dad (seemingly for the first time in FIVE years).
It’s mainly to tell him the big news: He’s going to be a grandpoppy! She takes Phoebe along for moral support. Though I suspect Phoebe has an ulterior motive as she hints at fancying him. And we know she’s got a thing for older men…
I don’t really know what she sees in him. He’s homophobic, rude to restaurant staff, and vehemently anti-vegetarian. So, not all bad. But the first two are pretty horrific.
He’s a horrible man, even if he softens at finding out he’s going to become a grandparent.
Maybe it’ll improve his manner a bit? My dad has made much more of an effort with everyone since we had kids. Now I’m the one being grumpy all the time. It must be easier when you can pack the kids back off to their parents after hanging out.
Rachel is so terrified of her dad she lies and tells him Ross and her are getting married! On February 2nd. Which just so happens to be Groundhog Day™
I suppose if you’re going to remarry someone there’s no better day for it. Maybe they’ll just keep doing it forever?
Mr Greene comes crashing in on Ross’s date which puts Ross in an awful position, between a rock and hard place, as Mona doesn’t yet know about the baby.
Thanks Rachel.
Thrachel.
“The One With the Penis Pump”
Elsewhere, Chandler finds out Monica had a secret bachelorette (read: hen) party. What a dick! Where was my invite?!?
She decides to make it up to us by getting him a stripper, who, it turns out, is actually a hooker.
Don’t worry guys, we’ve all been there.
The stripper invites Chandler into the bedroom, where he finds he’s already missed the show he thought he was getting, and she’s already naked.
Which reminds me of last Christmas™.
Rather than the traditional gift (of giving you my heart), my sister-in-law thought it would be funny to give a gift of one of those mugs that changes when you pour hot water in it. Which revealed a picture of her husband naked on a chaise longue… Mercifully with a well placed cushion.
Not to be outdone, this year, my brother-in-law upped the ante: Giving my wife a bona fide penis pump. Ya know, like the one in Austin Powers™.
…
At least it gave us something to talk about on the day.
After a day of trying it out on each others arms/faces/stomachs, I decided it was too powerful to try out on the real article, and snuck it into his bag of presents before we went home.
I’m sure he needs it more than me.
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
My wife’s family also brought back an old tradition this year:
“Nanny’s bag of shit”.
The idea is everyone brings along a couple of bits and pieces they have floating around, pops them in the bag, and then someone pulls them out one by one, with everyone shouting out to get what it is on a first come first served basis.
It turns out it’s surprisingly fun! And everyone liked what they got from it.
Only problem is, if you’ve got a toddler, they’re very impressionable. So come Boxing Day, our kid repeatedly asked “where’s my present from the bag of shit”.
Oh dear, I hope this doesn’t become a habit.
It’s mainly to tell him the big news: He’s going to be a grandpoppy! She takes Phoebe along for moral support. Though I suspect Phoebe has an ulterior motive as she hints at fancying him. And we know she’s got a thing for older men…
I don’t really know what she sees in him. He’s homophobic, rude to restaurant staff, and vehemently anti-vegetarian. So, not all bad. But the first two are pretty horrific.
He’s a horrible man, even if he softens at finding out he’s going to become a grandparent.
Maybe it’ll improve his manner a bit? My dad has made much more of an effort with everyone since we had kids. Now I’m the one being grumpy all the time. It must be easier when you can pack the kids back off to their parents after hanging out.
Rachel is so terrified of her dad she lies and tells him Ross and her are getting married! On February 2nd. Which just so happens to be Groundhog Day™
I suppose if you’re going to remarry someone there’s no better day for it. Maybe they’ll just keep doing it forever?
Mr Greene comes crashing in on Ross’s date which puts Ross in an awful position, between a rock and hard place, as Mona doesn’t yet know about the baby.
Thanks Rachel.
Thrachel.
“The One With the Penis Pump”
Elsewhere, Chandler finds out Monica had a secret bachelorette (read: hen) party. What a dick! Where was my invite?!?
She decides to make it up to us by getting him a stripper, who, it turns out, is actually a hooker.
Don’t worry guys, we’ve all been there.
The stripper invites Chandler into the bedroom, where he finds he’s already missed the show he thought he was getting, and she’s already naked.
Which reminds me of last Christmas™.
Rather than the traditional gift (of giving you my heart), my sister-in-law thought it would be funny to give a gift of one of those mugs that changes when you pour hot water in it. Which revealed a picture of her husband naked on a chaise longue… Mercifully with a well placed cushion.
Not to be outdone, this year, my brother-in-law upped the ante: Giving my wife a bona fide penis pump. Ya know, like the one in Austin Powers™.
…
At least it gave us something to talk about on the day.
After a day of trying it out on each others arms/faces/stomachs, I decided it was too powerful to try out on the real article, and snuck it into his bag of presents before we went home.
I’m sure he needs it more than me.
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
My wife’s family also brought back an old tradition this year:
“Nanny’s bag of shit”.
The idea is everyone brings along a couple of bits and pieces they have floating around, pops them in the bag, and then someone pulls them out one by one, with everyone shouting out to get what it is on a first come first served basis.
It turns out it’s surprisingly fun! And everyone liked what they got from it.
Only problem is, if you’ve got a toddler, they’re very impressionable. So come Boxing Day, our kid repeatedly asked “where’s my present from the bag of shit”.
Oh dear, I hope this doesn’t become a habit.
