Football Commentator Voice: “Aaand, you join us here at the start of a new season of REAL LIVE FRIENDS.
The only blog in the world where a guy is watching the sitcom Friends™ in real time over ten years and comparing it to his life. The transfer window is over, with the introduction of a second child raising serious questions about how the manager will cope, and if the clubs finances will hold up. But for now, the shareholder (read: wife) seems happy, and child number one is performing well.
But that could all change as we head into our first match of the season. Let’s head down to the grounds now and see what she’s doing.”
My child raises her voice, as I finish watching Welcome to Wrexham™ (4 stars).
“Daddy, can we watch Friends?”
Bless, she’s only two. And yet here she is. Struggling to tell the difference between real life and a TV show. Still, I’m proud she shares my interests! I’ve raised her well.
I cast my mind back to two weeks ago. The big wedding. Chandler and Monica. Monica and Chandler. Chanica. Mondler. Whatever your preference, I’ll be there for you. As long as it’s not “Mr and Mrs Chandler Bing.” That’s sexist if you ask me. (Which you SHOULD, cause I’m a MAN.)
Was it these two getting married? Or was it my friend Joey Number 4?
There’s no time to dwell on it as I remember the big twist.
My friend Rachel is PREGNANT. Or that’s what we found out in the end.
At first Phoebe took the heat for the positive pregnancy test. Hiding behind her thing for older men. But her claims the father was Ed Begley Jr. or James Brolin were fooling nobody. Except me who, for a second, thought “I guess the guy who played Cable/Thanos IS plausible.” Before realising I’d got the wrong man, and that Phoebe was actually talking about his dad. Ew.
Speculation was rife over who the father was, but Rachel wasn’t telling. Could it be Ross? Joey? CHANDLER??
I don’t mind, as long as it’s not bloody Tag.
Man, I hate him.
“The One With the Dad Dancing Dads”
Typically for weddings, there were a lot of dads. Chandler hit the right tone by showing off his dad dancing. Unlike Joey Number 4’s wedding, where everything went right, absolutely everything that could go wrong did at Chanica’s.
Chandler had new shoes that were much too slippy so was left rooted to the spot. His limited moves impressed Jack Gellar who dances the same way. I had almost exactly this happen to me at my wedding. I was taking the piss out of my dad’s dancing and my cousin said “you dance just like your father!” with a laugh.
Yerh, but I was doing it IRONICALLY. Oh shit. Maybe that’s how it starts?
Chandler did try to borrow Joey’s shoes to avoid it. But it turns out he has tiny feet! Still small feet are better than Cold Feet™.
The only blog in the world where a guy is watching the sitcom Friends™ in real time over ten years and comparing it to his life. The transfer window is over, with the introduction of a second child raising serious questions about how the manager will cope, and if the clubs finances will hold up. But for now, the shareholder (read: wife) seems happy, and child number one is performing well.
But that could all change as we head into our first match of the season. Let’s head down to the grounds now and see what she’s doing.”
My child raises her voice, as I finish watching Welcome to Wrexham™ (4 stars).
“Daddy, can we watch Friends?”
Bless, she’s only two. And yet here she is. Struggling to tell the difference between real life and a TV show. Still, I’m proud she shares my interests! I’ve raised her well.
I cast my mind back to two weeks ago. The big wedding. Chandler and Monica. Monica and Chandler. Chanica. Mondler. Whatever your preference, I’ll be there for you. As long as it’s not “Mr and Mrs Chandler Bing.” That’s sexist if you ask me. (Which you SHOULD, cause I’m a MAN.)
Was it these two getting married? Or was it my friend Joey Number 4?
There’s no time to dwell on it as I remember the big twist.
My friend Rachel is PREGNANT. Or that’s what we found out in the end.
At first Phoebe took the heat for the positive pregnancy test. Hiding behind her thing for older men. But her claims the father was Ed Begley Jr. or James Brolin were fooling nobody. Except me who, for a second, thought “I guess the guy who played Cable/Thanos IS plausible.” Before realising I’d got the wrong man, and that Phoebe was actually talking about his dad. Ew.
Speculation was rife over who the father was, but Rachel wasn’t telling. Could it be Ross? Joey? CHANDLER??
I don’t mind, as long as it’s not bloody Tag.
Man, I hate him.
“The One With the Dad Dancing Dads”
Typically for weddings, there were a lot of dads. Chandler hit the right tone by showing off his dad dancing. Unlike Joey Number 4’s wedding, where everything went right, absolutely everything that could go wrong did at Chanica’s.
Chandler had new shoes that were much too slippy so was left rooted to the spot. His limited moves impressed Jack Gellar who dances the same way. I had almost exactly this happen to me at my wedding. I was taking the piss out of my dad’s dancing and my cousin said “you dance just like your father!” with a laugh.
Yerh, but I was doing it IRONICALLY. Oh shit. Maybe that’s how it starts?
Chandler did try to borrow Joey’s shoes to avoid it. But it turns out he has tiny feet! Still small feet are better than Cold Feet™.
 |  |
Joey was ashamed of his small feet.
Don’t worry Joey; I’m pretty sure the old cliché is nonsense. Although, it’s a shame Chandler didn’t ask me. I’ve got HUGE feet. (… Ladies *wink*)
Joey also got in trouble with his clothes. Monica insisted he change out of his army uniform, only for him to end up in a tennis outfit, for some reason? Honestly, wearing inappropriate clothes at a wedding. What kind of monster would do that?
Joey took the opportunity to sexually harass someone with the old “sure I’ll teach you tennis, just let me put my arms around you” move. And Ross didn’t behave much better, swapping the name tags around on the seating plan so he could sit next to Monica’s hot colleague.
Or, that was what he thought. He misread the table number and ended up on the kids table! Next to his own son.
The HORROR.
He ended up having to dance with all the little girls at the table, to impress the hot colleague. And we all laughed when it came to the fat girls turn. Like a bunch of arseholes.
It was rather mean. But not as mean as what Phoebe did.
Trying to give Rachel some hope, her and Monica suggested a second pregnancy test. Giving me flashbacks to when my wife told me of our second pregnancy. By that point, we’d spent so much time trying to tell if there was a faint line on a test or not we couldn’t see the wood for the trees. Thank you, Covid.
I ended up sure it was negative, whilst she insisted she could see a line. Her instincts were right (obviously) and here we are.
Phoebe played a “risky little game” pretending to Rachel the test was negative so she’d “find out how she really felt”.
“Risky little game”?? More like completely sadistic!
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
Anyone who’s read the news lately will have found it impossible to avoid the sad news.
I am, of course, talking about the devastating terror attack on the Twin Towers. The world will never be the same again. The West will launch wars in the Middle East; authorities will racially profile people, Friends™ will continue to air. Completely different to the 20th Century.
And so we dedicate this episode “to the people of New York City”.
It’s hard to believe it’s been 21 years. Meaning 9/11 is now the perfect age to date Leonardo Di Caprio.
I remember where I was that morning, my mum picked us up from school and she was crying because her anniversary was ruined. Yes, my parents wedding anniversary is the day itself! Just a different year. Which disturbingly, if you do the maths, means I was very possibly conceived on a 9/11.
So, ya know, what’s the real tragedy here?
Joey also got in trouble with his clothes. Monica insisted he change out of his army uniform, only for him to end up in a tennis outfit, for some reason? Honestly, wearing inappropriate clothes at a wedding. What kind of monster would do that?
Joey took the opportunity to sexually harass someone with the old “sure I’ll teach you tennis, just let me put my arms around you” move. And Ross didn’t behave much better, swapping the name tags around on the seating plan so he could sit next to Monica’s hot colleague.
Or, that was what he thought. He misread the table number and ended up on the kids table! Next to his own son.
The HORROR.
He ended up having to dance with all the little girls at the table, to impress the hot colleague. And we all laughed when it came to the fat girls turn. Like a bunch of arseholes.
It was rather mean. But not as mean as what Phoebe did.
Trying to give Rachel some hope, her and Monica suggested a second pregnancy test. Giving me flashbacks to when my wife told me of our second pregnancy. By that point, we’d spent so much time trying to tell if there was a faint line on a test or not we couldn’t see the wood for the trees. Thank you, Covid.
I ended up sure it was negative, whilst she insisted she could see a line. Her instincts were right (obviously) and here we are.
Phoebe played a “risky little game” pretending to Rachel the test was negative so she’d “find out how she really felt”.
“Risky little game”?? More like completely sadistic!
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
Anyone who’s read the news lately will have found it impossible to avoid the sad news.
I am, of course, talking about the devastating terror attack on the Twin Towers. The world will never be the same again. The West will launch wars in the Middle East; authorities will racially profile people, Friends™ will continue to air. Completely different to the 20th Century.
And so we dedicate this episode “to the people of New York City”.
It’s hard to believe it’s been 21 years. Meaning 9/11 is now the perfect age to date Leonardo Di Caprio.
I remember where I was that morning, my mum picked us up from school and she was crying because her anniversary was ruined. Yes, my parents wedding anniversary is the day itself! Just a different year. Which disturbingly, if you do the maths, means I was very possibly conceived on a 9/11.
So, ya know, what’s the real tragedy here?
