God, I remember those days. And not fondly! I don’t think I ever had a Valentine’s Day that went well (prior to my wife).
We did nothing this year. For perhaps the first time in ten years! This was partly due to the kids, and partly due to our ten year anniversary taking precedence. It seemed more important to mark the latter occasion rather than a holiday invented to sell greetings cards. (Even if my wife can’t remember how long we’ve actually known each other… no, I will NOT let it lie.)
Also, I’ve been finding recently (from asking people) hardly anyone does Valentine’s Day anymore! And we’ve been doing it all this time. I’m starting to think I’m being tricked.
Quite a few of my New Yorker friends are doing it this year (just not Joey…)
Chandler and Monica have sexy plans. But he mistakes a birthing video (for Rachel) for a porn video (for him). Much to everyone’s horror…
Ah, porn videos. Old school! Hard to believe there was a time you couldn’t see anything you wanted for free. I shudder to think what I would have been like as an adult if that technology existed when I was a teen.
After the horror show’s over, it turns out Monica DID actually get a VHS for Chandler. Wait a minute. I thought Valentine’s Day was about the man doing something for the woman??
I really must talk to my wife…
Chandler also reveals he used to see his dad doing shots off a naked house boy. OK. He definitely was abused. Is this funny? I’m not so sure.
Over at Joey’s, he’s having a night in alone. But for Phoebe’s friend “Wendy’s” dog. Phoebe has other friends?!? She’s friend cheating on me! We’re gona have words. Joey’s so despondent he ends up making the dog depressed too!
Maybe Chandler should lend him the porno. That’d cheer him up! Though it might be a challenge to get into it with the dog watching.
“The One With Yet Another Claw Hand”
Mona is somehow still with Ross. And not even aware Rachel’s moved in with him.
How did he not think to tell her?!
Finding Rachel in his apartment comes as quite the surprise to Mona, who angrily shouts “you got another ex-wife back there?” Don’t be silly, Mona.
She’s in England. (I wander what she’s doing now… doing now…)
This results in Mona dumping Ross. FINALLY.
Queue Ross: “In a way, I judge her for not breaking up with me sooner”. You and me both, Ross.
Then we make a startling discovery about Ross, who claims he was once dumped during sex. But… we’ve seen all his break-ups in the last 8 years?? Unless. Oh God. The Dinner Lady broke up with him during sex?!?
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
As a big Nintendo™ boy, I’ve been greatly enjoying the new Zelda™ game.
Unfortunately, much like Chandler, “this has come at a terrible price” as my left hand has already turned into an achey claw. Is it possible I may one day be physically too old for videogames?!? (Obviously, I never will be mentally too old).
I can think of few things worse.