​Do you believe in soul mates?

Yerh. What are we, twelve?

I think there probably was a time when I did. The older I get the more I think those times I thought I was in love as a teen, the obsessive, all encompassing, “I need you or I will die” feelings were less love and more signs of an undiagnosed mental illness.

But does that make them any less real? What is desire if not hormones and electrical signals rushing through our body and making our brain and heart feel funny. Among other bits.

Phoebe seems to believe. I suppose of all the Friends she would be the one to believe in soul mates. Unfortunately for Chandler, she thinks she’s found Monica’s. A tall, older (obviously), English, food lover.

They get on like a house on fire, leaving Chandler even more insecure than usual. But if you ask me, they’re complete idiots. How can they hate sun dried tomatoes?! They’re the bomb!

Chandler should leave her for that alone.

“The One With the Soul Mate”

Things are a little more explosive elsewhere. Joey’s just finished telling Ross he has feelings for Rachel. Which Ross takes… exactly how you’d expect from Ross.

I can sort of see where he’s coming from, but it’s all a bit possessive isn’t it? A little bit teenage.

Still baby hormones can make you a little crazy. Even the dad, as I found the time I almost started fighting that guy on the train…

Surely having one of your best friends being the step-dad of your child is sort of ideal? (Unless they’re into a certain porn category that worryingly exploded in lockdown).
I’d love it if my best mate stepped up and did all my childcare for me!

Once Ross cools down a bit Joey explains that nothing could happen as he doesn’t want to jeopardise his friendship with Ross.

Yet, he’s totally fine with risking his friendship with Rachel…

AND when she needs him the most. Look Joey, believe me, I understand you’re going crazy from this. But Rachel really doesn’t need this right now.

Weirdly it’s Ross’s turn to actually be grown up for once. On finding out how strong Joey’s feelings are he gives him the go ahead to tell Rachel and see what happens. Sad.

Although I do wonder if he’s playing a bit of a long game here.

Again, from my own teenage experiences, it’s absolutely impossible to start a relationship with one person going straight in on “I LOVE YOU.” It’s just not a solid foundation for an equal partnership.

And, also, most girls find it fucking weird.

And so it goes with Rachel. As we could all see coming, she doesn’t have a clue how to react.

And things end with them sharing an overlong, emotional hug. Wondering what happens now.

Real Live Sitcom Moment:
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After remembering Emily (Ross’s ex-wife) last time. I realised I could take a trip to go see her! Seeing as I live in England.

​When we last saw her she was about to get married, but rang up Ross to see if there was a possibility of them getting back together. I guess she must have been getting Cold Feet™

Rachel told Ross not to call her back. Which turned out well? Rachel’s now got her baby, and Emily is happily married to an English guy. A tall, older man, who loves restaurants and is on holiday in New York and… oh shit. It’s the guy who’s dating Phoebe isn’t it?
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What a scum bag.

​Joey’s still hung up on Rachel, and sad he’s alone on Valentine’s Day…

God, I remember those days. And not fondly! I don’t think I ever had a Valentine’s Day that went well (prior to my wife).
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We did nothing this year. For perhaps the first time in ten years! This was partly due to the kids, and partly due to our ten year anniversary taking precedence. It seemed more important to mark the latter occasion rather than a holiday invented to sell greetings cards. (Even if my wife can’t remember how long we’ve actually known each other… no, I will NOT let it lie.)

Also, I’ve been finding recently (from asking people) hardly anyone does Valentine’s Day anymore! And we’ve been doing it all this time. I’m starting to think I’m being tricked.

Quite a few of my New Yorker friends are doing it this year (just not Joey…)

Chandler and Monica have sexy plans. But he mistakes a birthing video (for Rachel) for a porn video (for him). Much to everyone’s horror…

Ah, porn videos. Old school! Hard to believe there was a time you couldn’t see anything you wanted for free. I shudder to think what I would have been like as an adult if that technology existed when I was a teen.

After the horror show’s over, it turns out Monica DID actually get a VHS for Chandler. Wait a minute. I thought Valentine’s Day was about the man doing something for the woman??
I really must talk to my wife…
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Chandler also reveals he used to see his dad doing shots off a naked house boy. OK. He definitely was abused. Is this funny? I’m not so sure.

Over at Joey’s, he’s having a night in alone. But for Phoebe’s friend “Wendy’s” dog. Phoebe has other friends?!? She’s friend cheating on me! We’re gona have words. Joey’s so despondent he ends up making the dog depressed too!
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Maybe Chandler should lend him the porno. That’d cheer him up! Though it might be a challenge to get into it with the dog watching.

“The One With Yet Another Claw Hand”

Mona is somehow still with Ross. And not even aware Rachel’s moved in with him.

How did he not think to tell her?!

Finding Rachel in his apartment comes as quite the surprise to Mona, who angrily shouts “you got another ex-wife back there?” Don’t be silly, Mona.

She’s in England. (I wander what she’s doing now… doing now…)

This results in Mona dumping Ross. FINALLY.

Queue Ross: “In a way, I judge her for not breaking up with me sooner”. You and me both, Ross.

Then we make a startling discovery about Ross, who claims he was once dumped during sex. But… we’ve seen all his break-ups in the last 8 years?? Unless. Oh God. The Dinner Lady broke up with him during sex?!?

Real Live Sitcom Moment:

As a big Nintendo™ boy, I’ve been greatly enjoying the new Zelda™ game.

Unfortunately, much like Chandler, “this has come at a terrible price” as my left hand has already turned into an achey claw. Is it possible I may one day be physically too old for videogames?!? (Obviously, I never will be mentally too old).
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I can think of few things worse.