I’m shocked she’s now overdue. It feels like way less than nine months!
More shockingly, it’s actually much longer!
I wasn’t there when they conceived (I promise, officer). But you can do some maths to work out when it was from how open Ross is about how little he gets laid.
Back in season seven episode fifteen he says he hasn’t had sex in 3 and a half months. Later, he excuses his sex with Rachel by saying it had been six months with no sex.
Therefore, 2 and a half months after S07E15 is when the baby making happened.
This puts the date of conception a whopping thirteen months ago!! No wonder she’s sick of it…
In a wonderful twist of fate, I am delighted to say my OG Rachel and Ross are now also pregnant!
And not just because it coincides with my American Friends™. I’m not going to creepily work out when they conceived. But they definitely get points for being the most series accurate couple I know. Even if they’ve had a markedly more successful relationship than Ross and Rachel. It’s great they’ve made it all this way.
Generally, there’s a perception women are giving birth later and later. But I’m not sure this has changed much since the 90s. Based on my, admittedly, very narrow, sample; a lot more of my British friends have succumbed to parenthood than my American ones. Though this may be reflective of the fact we were already slightly more monogamous (as a group) at the very start of things.
In the baby group, along with the Rachel’s and Ross’s we’ve got:
My other Ross Number 1
David the Science Guy
My two doctor friends, both dubbed Doctor Phalange, one married to yet another Ross and the other to yet another Rachel
And me, and my wife (obviously). My wife being Phoebe Number 3, and Me somehow ending up being Phoebe Number 1, Chandler Number 3, and Monica Number 1.Hrrm, I may have to bare that in mind next time someone accuses me of being self-obsessed… A point further proved by me also dubbing one of my friends “Me Number 2”. Although they’ve done a great job of living up to that too, by recently having a baby of their own.
Strangely, in an argument for nominative determinism, the baby-free group is exclusively made up of baby-free Friends analogues:
Joey Number 1
Chandler Number 1
Monica Number 2
Joey Number 4
Maybe we really can tell something about ourselves by which Friends™ we are?
“The One Where We Catch Up With Old Friends”
Speaking of long gestations, Joey’s World War 1 film is only just coming out?!
Weren’t they shooting that like three years ago? Was it delayed by the pandemic? Or the writer’s strike? Perhaps it’s just not very good and they were trying to save it in the edit…
Chandler certainly seems to think so, falling asleep during the premiere!
Not the best thing to do after Joey picked him over the others to thank him for all his support over the years. It was really nice seeing Joey so honestly and openly thanking Chandler. Before Phoebe ruined it by making a gay joke.
In Chandler’s defence, when you gotta sleep, you’ve gotta sleep. I’m never going to live down the time we spent huge sums of money to go see Evita™ on the West End™, only for me to fall asleep for the second half.
Now I’ll never know whether Argentina cried for her or not.
With Rachel due any second the others liven it up by placing some bets. I would have lost this massively by betting it would be four months ago.
Needless to say, Rachel is getting a bit testy, biting off Ross’s head at any opportunity. She even gets annoyed at him breathing loudly. Huh. I’d always assumed my wife getting annoyed at the sound of my breathing was because we were stuck together in lockdown. Turns out she was just pregnant.
Like Rachel we tried all the things to hurry it along. Special tea, spicy curry, long walks. Well, I’m not sure we tried the sex. It’s hard to do that without breathing. Rachel and Ross are a little unsure on that. Don’t want to open a “can of worms”. Sorry, didn’t doing it thirteen months ago already open that can?!
The pressure is mounting on Ross to do the right thing. Personally I don’t know why he wouldn’t be straight on that. But I am a notorious pervert. I suppose your sister also trying to persuade you to do it (so she can win the bet) might put you off a little bit.
In the end, after a little too much badgering from Rachel, Ross snaps and goes for angry baby sex.
But before they can get down to the good part, Rachel’s waters break!!
Who knew Ross was so good at making women wet.
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
One of my other non-parent mates has an annual birthday around this time of year.
They like to mark it with a cricket game in the park. And I was INCREDIBLY pumped, not only for a bit of kid-free time, but also for the chance to finally get a bit of exercise.
I got down early, did all my stretches, and had a big coffee so I’d be bursting with energy.
I confidently stepped up to bat first, visions of getting a century, and becoming the British Shane Warne in my head. And my mate promptly bowled me out in two balls.
Ah well, at least I got some sun.