Recently, a vague memory of Chandler giving Cathy ‘the Velveteen Rabbit’ popped into my head.
We’re looking for longer books for my (now almost 3 years old!) child. So I thought I’d pickup a copy!
I excitedly set about reading it. To find it’s about a toy rabbit who can’t tell what’s real or not. What an idiot.
Unfortunately it proved a little too advanced so we’ve yet to finish it.
Disappointing really. Maybe instead I should show her ‘Old Yeller’?
Or ‘Kujo’.
“The One With the Fake Tan”
It’s two O’ clock on a Wednesday. Which, of course, means my American Friends™ are lazing around their apartment. Honestly, this country‘s going to the dogs…
Their arcade machine has mysteriously vanished. Perhaps it’s in the guest bedroom?
Monica suggests Chandler has a bath. Which he, in typical fashion, thinks is a little “gay”. Man, he’s so insecure. Also… Didn’t she already introduce him to the wonders of baths?? Three and a half years ago! Seems their days of sexy together baths are behind them. This is what happens when you marry, guys!
Looking back, at that time, my other friend Monica Number 2 was job-hunting. Somewhat unusually, they’re still without a job; having settled into a life of househusbandry and luxury. (Although, to be fair, a big part of that is their current visa requirements out in Yemen).
Today EVERYONE appears to be not working! Ross and Rachel are going for their latest baby scan. And discussing names.
It always took us a long time for baby names. It was a lot of fun. It’s sad to think we won’t be doing it again.
Hang on. Did they say ‘Ruth Gellar’?!? Surely it’s not going to be Gellar?! Even when they were married it was “Gellar-Green”, wasn’t it?
You want to put your foot down Rachel. You never know, the way things are going, they might end up being a Tribbiani.
Everyone’s trying to guess Joey’s secret. It’s painfully obvious he fancies someone. And Monica guesses Phoebe. Which does make more sense… But I suppose we don’t choose who we fall in love with.
This leave Phoebe embarrassed when she confronts him. And I’m left feeling sorry for everyone!
Poor Phoebe, getting her hopes up.
Poor Rachel, having the sex of her child revealed by Ross when they said they wouldn’t find out. (Incidentally, why is it a “Gender Reveal Party” when the correct term would be “Sex Reveal Party”. I guess if you’re inviting someone to a “Sex Reveal Party” they may come expecting something quite different.)
Poor Joey, unable to cope with his feelings.
And Poor Chandler, unable to enjoy a bath in peace without people barging in to pester him. An experience my wife can very much relate to.
Hang on. The only ones here not having a hard time are the Gellars!
Maybe these guys should cut them loose.
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
Over the weekend I turned to my wife and told her she had a bit of chocolate above her lip.
“Oh, that’s not Chocolate.”
“Oh God, it’s not…”
“What, NO. Ew. But I’m too embarrassed to tell you.”
“What then? Make-up?”
“Sort of…”
And so, I found out my wife had watched a TikTok™ video suggesting permanently contouring your face by using fake tan. And instead of thinking “that’s a silly idea” decided to give it a go.
Resulting in a big wonky brown line across her fulcrum.
Maybe China’s real plan is to bring down the West by making us all look stupid…
Later, I noticed she’d done under her chin as well. And for the rest of the day, whenever I looked, it was like she’d whited up her face.
Help! I’ve married a mime.
We’re looking for longer books for my (now almost 3 years old!) child. So I thought I’d pickup a copy!
I excitedly set about reading it. To find it’s about a toy rabbit who can’t tell what’s real or not. What an idiot.
Unfortunately it proved a little too advanced so we’ve yet to finish it.
Disappointing really. Maybe instead I should show her ‘Old Yeller’?
Or ‘Kujo’.
“The One With the Fake Tan”
It’s two O’ clock on a Wednesday. Which, of course, means my American Friends™ are lazing around their apartment. Honestly, this country‘s going to the dogs…
Their arcade machine has mysteriously vanished. Perhaps it’s in the guest bedroom?
Monica suggests Chandler has a bath. Which he, in typical fashion, thinks is a little “gay”. Man, he’s so insecure. Also… Didn’t she already introduce him to the wonders of baths?? Three and a half years ago! Seems their days of sexy together baths are behind them. This is what happens when you marry, guys!
Looking back, at that time, my other friend Monica Number 2 was job-hunting. Somewhat unusually, they’re still without a job; having settled into a life of househusbandry and luxury. (Although, to be fair, a big part of that is their current visa requirements out in Yemen).
Today EVERYONE appears to be not working! Ross and Rachel are going for their latest baby scan. And discussing names.
It always took us a long time for baby names. It was a lot of fun. It’s sad to think we won’t be doing it again.
Hang on. Did they say ‘Ruth Gellar’?!? Surely it’s not going to be Gellar?! Even when they were married it was “Gellar-Green”, wasn’t it?
You want to put your foot down Rachel. You never know, the way things are going, they might end up being a Tribbiani.
Everyone’s trying to guess Joey’s secret. It’s painfully obvious he fancies someone. And Monica guesses Phoebe. Which does make more sense… But I suppose we don’t choose who we fall in love with.
This leave Phoebe embarrassed when she confronts him. And I’m left feeling sorry for everyone!
Poor Phoebe, getting her hopes up.
Poor Rachel, having the sex of her child revealed by Ross when they said they wouldn’t find out. (Incidentally, why is it a “Gender Reveal Party” when the correct term would be “Sex Reveal Party”. I guess if you’re inviting someone to a “Sex Reveal Party” they may come expecting something quite different.)
Poor Joey, unable to cope with his feelings.
And Poor Chandler, unable to enjoy a bath in peace without people barging in to pester him. An experience my wife can very much relate to.
Hang on. The only ones here not having a hard time are the Gellars!
Maybe these guys should cut them loose.
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
Over the weekend I turned to my wife and told her she had a bit of chocolate above her lip.
“Oh, that’s not Chocolate.”
“Oh God, it’s not…”
“What, NO. Ew. But I’m too embarrassed to tell you.”
“What then? Make-up?”
“Sort of…”
And so, I found out my wife had watched a TikTok™ video suggesting permanently contouring your face by using fake tan. And instead of thinking “that’s a silly idea” decided to give it a go.
Resulting in a big wonky brown line across her fulcrum.
Maybe China’s real plan is to bring down the West by making us all look stupid…
Later, I noticed she’d done under her chin as well. And for the rest of the day, whenever I looked, it was like she’d whited up her face.
Help! I’ve married a mime.
