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7.22 - “The One Where I Watch The One With Chandler’s Dad”

23/8/2022

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We remembered this week that Monica has a Porsche™ now! And she’s been letting us all have a go.

With the exception of Rachel who is a terrible driver.

Still, not as bad as my sister. She recently thought she had a flat tyre, but because it was night time, just kept on driving till she got home. Fortunately it turned out it wasn’t a flat. Though I’m not sure not being able to tell makes her a better or worse driver...

But, hey, she’s not going round joyriding like Rachel. Who not only steals a ride (!!!!) but also $20 from Ross’s wallet. What the hell Rachel??

Elsewhere we had a bit of ‘Knicker Swapper Glory’ (yes I am proud of that) when Joey noticed Phoebe’s new BF was wearing her knickers.

She attacked Joey for not being confident enough in his masculinity to try it, and I sat there in awkward silence.

Obviously he did then try it. Only to be told to stop by Phoebe when she thought he was getting a bit too into it. And I sat there in awkward silence.
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“The One With Chandler’s Mum?”

What even happened this week? We had Rachel being a thief, Joey ramping up the toxic masculinity, Phoebe kink shaming, and Chandler being straight up homo/transphobic about his dad. Who is a successful Vegas drag queen and (thanks to Chandler) not invited to the wedding.

As Chandler put it “It’s all very Cats in the Cradle, I don’t want to get into it.”
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I love that song. 

Even if the ending makes no sense:
Man complains he spent his whole life neglecting his kids and then when his son won't spend time with him (because his kids are ill!) the man concludes "well, I guess he's grown up just like me." What?

The only person that was cool this week was Monica who took Chandler to task for his attitude, and we did get to laugh at his insecurity.

I can get why, growing up in the 80s, it must have been difficult for him having his dad show up in drag to school events. But is that any reason to ostracise his dad as an adult? Hrrm, someone who wears drag who presents as a woman even when not performing? If only there was a word for that…
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Also, here’s a thing. Chandler’s pronoun use with his dad is clearly completely atrocious. But also, if your dad comes out as trans do they not become your mum?

I’ve never seen this done, and it feels a little odd, but if you have a daughter who comes out you start referring to them as son. So surely we should be saying this is Chandler’s mum?

It’s also pretty fucked that we all went to Vegas two years ago, and no-one even mentioned Chandler’s parent! I’d have loved to have seen their show. It looks like an absolute blast. Presumably, usually, it isn’t completely ruined by Chandler attempting to storm out, and awkwardly reuniting with his parent before inviting them to the wedding.

It’s hard not to feel sorry for Helena Handbasket here (what a great drag name…) although if I were them I’d probably be more annoyed about the show being ruined!

Anyway, there’s only two weeks left till the wedding now. Exciting. But how come Chandler hasn’t had a stag party?? I hope he hasn’t done one without inviting me!
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Real Live Sitcom Moment:

Coincidentally, we had some gender-fluidity at our own wedding. One of my best male friends showed up in a very pretty dress by surprise. Much to my wife’s horror.

To clarify, this wasn’t full drag, I thought it was quite a tasteful choice, and didn’t pull much focus other than being a bit of a talking point. Mostly due to the beard, and as they’ve never identified as anything other than a man, and continue to do so.
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When I questioned him on why, he replied in his usual style “well, I was thinking about it, and eventually came to the conclusion that it would be wrong” (given my past of crossdressing at fancy dress parties) “if there WASN’T a man in a dress at your wedding. So I thought you’d appreciate it.”
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And you know what? He was completely right. And every time I look at the photos I smile for someone understanding me so well, and caring so much more about me than what other people think about them.
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7.21 - “The One Where I Watch The One With the Vows”

8/8/2022

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Not long now! Just four weeks till the wedding. (Let’s hope I can keep up…)

Chandler and Monica are struggling to write their vows.

I have to say, it was a lot easier for us given the Civil Service “Cookie Cutter” approach the registrars in the UK take.

You just have the same ten bits, with each one having a few options. Like going through a dialogue tree in a videogame. Unfortunately, much like a videogame, this means I now want to play again so I can see if the story is affected by making different choices.

Who knows what might have been if we’d chosen to promise ever closer union rather than respect together and apart? Hang on, sorry, now I’m not sure if I’m talking about my wedding or Brexit…

One of the nice things about weddings, once you’re married yourself, is the vows do remind you of your own. A great opportunity to hold hands and think about how much you mean to each other as you watch another friend get married (in this case, most recently “Dr Phalange”).

My New York friends are in a reflective mood as well, reminiscing about what led Chandler and Monica to this point.

Seeing all the photos/videos is a weird experience. The first time I’ve ever looked at the Friends and thought “woah, they look younger than me…”

It’s quite unnerving.

“The One Where I Impress My Child”

So what did we look back on? (As my wife left the room, muttering something about “clip shows being rubbish”)

Well, there was the one where I did DIY.

The time I got in trouble for referring to my wife as Janice (and went on my honeymoon…)

The time we went on a dance with Mr Treeger. 

When I accidentally mowed the dirt. 

Going to yet more weddings. 

Another time I did some DIY. 

Recovering from the Rona. 

And going back through Facebook to see what I was doing in the past…

OK.

Maybe my wife has a point? You look backwards too often, you miss what’s happening right now. And everyone feels a little cheated.

Real Live Sitcom Moment:

We’ve taken the big step towards potty training, so every time our child goes to the toilet you have to make a HUGE deal out of it. Lavishing them with praise, and stickers, and chocolate buttons.

Out for a meal at a restaurant I took her with me to the bathroom as we both needed to go.

In the cubicle, I realised my needs were a bit more substantial than I first thought. But, hey, this is a great opportunity for some learning! Fixing her dead in the eye I explained I was doing a poo. Hey, if she can stare at me whenever she does it, why can’t I repay the favour?

When the moment had passed, I explained again.

“Daddy just did a poo on the toilet.”

Cue my child loudly clapping her hands and exclaiming “He did it! He did it!!”

Sure, super cute, but I swear she had a sarcastic glint in her eye. Must have been thinking “finally, some payback.”
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