I say “busy celebrating”. We ate a Hello Fresh™ box, and took the kids to the beach. Such is married life once the kids enter. We did mark the occasion with a few bottles of wine. Which was tremendous after not drinking all year (bar a few special occasions). Man I missed a glass of red. It’s getting harder to resist returning to my old ways. But I think I can keep up the heavily reduced drinking. Until Christmas at least.
The way you feel the next day is a pretty hefty reminder of the cost. I haven’t missed that. Can’t believe it used to be my default state. Still I’m gona treat myself to a couple more at Mondler’s wedding, and at Joey Number Four’s, which is also this weekend. Weddings weddings weddings. Must be the time of year.
Before then, some coffee. As we try and recover in time for the weddings.
Monica: “You do realise this is the last time we’ll be together as six single people.”
Errm. Excuse me, Monica. First of all, there are seven of us. But, also, I’m already married, and you and Chandler have been going steady for ages. OR HAVE YOU FORGOT.
Also I’m pretty sure Phoebe’s dating that guy who wears knickers.
Later, Ross took Chandler aside “I’m speaking to you now not as a friend, but as Monica’s brother, if you EVER cause her any unhappiness…”
You’d think Ross, of all people, would have a better understanding of what marriage is like. If brothers (and sisters) beat people up every time someone caused their spouse unhappiness, society would grind to a halt in a whirlwind of blood feuds.
“The One With Mondler’s Wedding”
We went to the rehearsal dinner for Mondler’s wedding. It was quite a weird experience. In the UK we’re not used to doing this. I’m not sure if this is because we have more faith in things going right the first time, or we enjoy the chaos of things going wrong at weddings. The popularity of Eastenders™ would suggest the latter.
At the rehearsal dinner we caught up with Chandler’s mom. But which one… Well, both. But I mean his biological mother, last seen six and a half years ago!
Man the time flies.
Like me a few weeks back, Jack Gellar (gotta love that man…) is a bit confused whether to call Helena Handbasket Chandler’s mum or dad. But not as confused as Judy Gellar, who seems to be besotted with Gunther. Poor woman. Have we tested her for dementia lately?
The vicious sparring between Chandler’s parents did make me realise why he’s such a commitment-phobe (commitment-Phoebe?): “Don’t you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that” is a particularly unpleasant thing to say. And left us all feeling awkward. With our 21st Century morals.
Joey couldn’t make the rehearsal dinner (not like him to miss a dinner) as he’s off shooting a mooo-vey.
I can hardly talk, I didn’t even find out the US joined WW1 until a few years back. (Well, I say joined…)
But the Brits and Americans are joined together once more! Not just for the wedding, Joey’s working with a Brit. It’s only GARY BLOODY OLDMAN.
But he stuffs things up for Joey! After a little lesson in the importance of spitting as an actor, he gets horrendously drunk and can’t finish their scene. OH NO. Joey’s going to miss the wedding?!?!
That’s not all. Back at the flat after the rehearsal, we notice Chandler’s done a runner. After, quite sweetly, saying to Monica he always thought something stupid would come along and make him freak out, but it never did. Sadly no longer true, after he hears Monica’s new answer-phone message, which reminds him his surname is BING. You’d think he would have already thought about them sharing a surname.
Like him I felt something stupid would ruin things before my wedding, but never had that big moment of freaking out. And here we are four years later!
The search for Chandler threw up another shocking moment; we found a positive pregnancy test in Monica’s bathroom! The poor woman. How could he do this to her??
Fortunately the wedding is tomorrow, so there’s still time to find him. But I won’t be able to help as it’s time to go to Joey Number Four’s Wedding!
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
After the rehearsal dinner we headed home to get ready. Thanks to the absence of Monica at the planning stage it promised to be a much more relaxed affair.
On the way back, I was thinking about my friend. The one who wore the dress at my wedding. And Chandler’s parent at the rehearsal dinner, looking fabulous, complete with a pearl necklace borrowed from Monica.
Something isn’t right here.
What if there isn’t a male in a dress at this wedding??
There’s only one thing for it.
I’m going to have to take up the baton. The tradition must continue!
So, I got ready in one of my wife’s dresses. Trying to keep it stylish and not going overboard as my mate had managed four years ago. (After all, you don’t want to draw any focus from the bride!)
I can only hope it’s taken in good spirits. And that no-one says to me “don’t you have a little too much penis to be wearing a dress like that”.