I can’t help but agree with Joey: “WHY, GOD, WHYYY!??!?”
But some good’s come of it. Rachel had a crisis of confidence and broke up with Tag!
Oh no, what a shame… you were so good together… please no…
“The One Where I’m Glad Tag’s Gone”
We all sat in the coffee shop and Ross glumly said “we’re just a bunch of 30 year olds”.
Err, I think that’s some wishful thinking there Ross… By my reckoning you and Chandler should be 31/32. Don’t you dare try and make out like I’m the oldest one here! I will not have this revisionism.
But it’s a good excuse to remember everyone’s 30ths.
I say remember, I’m struggling to recollect any of these parties… Did they have them without me?? You bastards, how could you?
Like me, Phoebe had a lot of things she wanted to do before she was thirty and managed them all!
Or she thought she did, till she went to see her sister and found out she’s a whole year older! You’ve lost a whole year of your life Phoebe? I’m sorry; I can’t imagine what that’s like…
What did I want to do before 30? Why thank you for asking! After Uni I picked three things:
- Record an EP (Yes)
- Do an hour of Stand-Up (Technically performed after my birthday, but it was mostly written by then)
- Write a Novel (Cheated by saying the blog counts)
I was scratching my head trying to remember my own 30th, when I realised I don’t have to remember! Apparently I spent my 30th shitting myself in Morroco.
I think I intended to have a big blowout for my 31st. (Of a different kind to the one in Morroco…) But in the end my last birthday before becoming a parent was lost to the pandemic. So, ya know, what’s the real tragedy here?
It is interesting looking back and realising I was overly worried about aging and my health even then. Perhaps I should have got a few more years out of my mid-life crisis car by buying it then instead?
That’s how Ross got through his 30th… Yuck. And now I feel a powerful urge to wash for being like him.
I can relate to him struggling to park in the city. I instantly regretted getting an unnecessarily long “family” style car. But at least it’ll come in handy for the imminent move.
Phoebe tried to help Ross park by breaking into a van with a crowbar. (Man, I really need that prequel series!!)
I find it a bit odd Monica’s party was the only one where people were getting drunk. Although, to be fair, Phoebe may have been drunk when she bust out the crowbar. And we all know what Joey’s like. But surely a 30th is a last great excuse for a big fuck-off party??
Phoebe seemed to think so, playing catch up after Monica arrived at her surprise party drunk; and eventually resorted to getting her baps out to save Monica from embarrassment.
To be fair, it worked pretty well; with a shout of “quick help me get this off!” all eyes were on her instead of Monica. And I couldn’t help but notice Ross immediately pointing the video camera that way, and Daddy Gellar having a sneaky peak too.
Back in Phoebe’s memory, she’s sad at missing out on all the things she wanted to do before she was thirty-one. Including the perfect kiss. I’m a little sad for her (and David the Science Guy…) that she doesn’t think she’s already had one.
But Joey steps in to save the day, like only he can, by kissing his friend in a non-consensual manner.
Still, the way she looks at him afterwards. Is this the beginning of something? My heart aches for it to be so.
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
It’s silly all of us worrying about being in our thirties. Sure time marches on quicker, but in all likelihood we’ve got ages to go! My aunt just turned seventy!
You’d think she’d have been planning it for ages, but we all got an invite to the big knees up with only a months notice. And I was gutted to realise I had work that day. But, I was having a walk and it hit my how lucky my family is that we all made it through the pandemic. Maybe it’s becoming a dad too, but for the first time I decided, you know what? Sometimes family has to come first!
All these aunts and uncles who put so much into helping raise me, and were such a huge part of my childhood, I haven’t seen them for years! So I cancelled the job, and went to the party. Absolutely the right decision, as we hugged, and danced, and tried not to talk about the pandemic, the war, or Brexit™.
Still it was funny on the way back, my immediate family and I said our goodbyes and set off in our respective cars. I stopped for some food half way home, and stepped out of my car, only to find my mum parked right beside me!! Honestly, what are the chances?? Not only had we picked exactly the same services, and arrived at the same time, we’d somehow picked two spaces next to each other!
Maybe I was getting some karmic reward for choosing family over work for once? And so we went into the services, bought our food, and left, barely saying a word to each other. Ok. Maybe not so karmic…