But not before admonishing Monica for never using it. “What are we saving it for, the Queen coming over?”
Yerh… hate to break it to you, mate… she’s not coming over.
Though, admittedly, I’m not sure you’re really here anymore either…
“The One With Acceptance”
Christmas is (usually) a time for catching up with estranged family. And so Rachels’ sister Amy is in town! “Haven’t seen you in a year!” That’s nothing, Rachel, I haven’t seen her, ever!
This is a little painful for me as, after a difficult few years, my own sister has now become slightly estranged from our family and won’t be spending Christmas with us.
They’re all a little judgey of Amy for not taking a massive interest in Rachel’s child. An attitude that pervades my own family. But hey, you know what? She’s got her own life, her own stuff going on. It’s fine. If you ask me, problems only start appearing in families when you all start demanding everyone acts, feels, and thinks the same way.
But I draw the line at Phoebe not believing in the moon landings. She won’t be getting anywhere near my kids.
Amy recognises Joey from TV. And I have to wonder, why doesn’t this happen more often? Maybe it would if he was a better actor… turns out he can’t even lie effectively. And has a stunning lack of imagination, only being able to think of Raccoons when called upon to cover something up. Alcohol will do that to you. You be careful, Joe.
I may have rushed to Amy’s defence. But (much like my sister) she is deeply self-absorbed. Imagining herself as the main character of a movie in which Rachel and Ross die and Emma is left to her.
Honestly, what kind of loser fantasises about their life being like a film/TV show?
God, some people have no self-awareness.
She doesn’t even remember the babies name! You get in line behind Chandler and Monica if you want that baby. I reckon even I’ve got a better shout at this point.
It’s nice to hear Chandler and Monica would get the baby. Though quite harsh of Ross to say Chandler would then lose the child if Monica dies too. Surely that would depend how long they’d had her?? Can you even stipulate something like that in your will?
I also don’t think Monica would make a much better parent than Chandler. She’s way not chill enough. I reckon she’d be a lot like me, constantly swinging between being too anxious about all the mess, and too depressed to do anything about it.
But anyway, Christmas will be fun.
Actually, can I please have the baby?? I seem to be the only person here who knows you’re not supposed to leave them in the car seat all day. What if a raccoon comes in and steals it?
I’ve been getting my claims on babies in early at the moment. Maybe there is a hint of a sadness at our second no longer being one.
The other day I dropped off a bunch of old clothes for Rachel Number Two.
It turns out she’s put some thought into who she’d call in an emergency. And, despite my now prodigious level of fatherhood experience, and being the closest friend, I fall somewhere behind Dr Phalanges. WHO LIVES MORE THAN AN HOUR AWAY.
Come now! I told her, never to hesitate to call me if she needs anything. Though I draw the line at taking the baby if she dies.
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
Later, at the meal, a fight breaks out between Amy and Rachel. Because nothing says Christmas, like family hitting each other.
You know, he would have been a great dad. And now thinking about his life, I’m sad once again.
A feeling that gets worse when Monica says “it’s just a plate, it’s not like somebody died”.
And worse still, when Chandler accidentally breaks ALL the plates.
“Well, what do you know, guess I will be the one who dies first”.
Oh, my friend. Our friend. Why?
I don’t feel I have anything left to add. Except, to say thank you? Thank you for brightening up our lives.
In the past few weeks, one of the things I’ve hated, is how, though respectful, the whole media has presented his life as a sort of wasted potential.
They always present these “troubled souls” as some sort of failure.
Like a family ostracising anyone who dares step outside their acceptable norm.
Oh, you didn’t get married? Didn’t have kids? What a waste. Why can’t you be like us?
And yes, I can see the point in not glamourising self-destruction.
But, if you ask me, making millions of people laugh, earning enough money to retire at 35, dating Julia Roberts, partying like crazy, and using your own demons to help others.
Is that not actually a pretty successful life?