Torn To Ribbons
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9.01 - “The One Where I Watch The One Where No One Proposes”

17/9/2023

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We’re still in the hospital dealing with the fall out from Joey “accidentally” “proposing” to “Rachel”. (How do you use quotation marks again?) And from Rachel giving birth.

Phoebe is trying to get to the bottom of things but she “may be losing interest”. She’s not the only one... It’s become a bit convoluted.

I’m not sure I entirely understand why Joey didn’t immediately tell Rachel what was up. It all comes out eventually and no-one ends up engaged. Plus ca change, plus c’est la meme chose. The status quo is resumed. Nothing to see here.

Still, it can’t have been pleasant for Rachel. Or Ross and Joey for that matter. That Judy Gellar has a lot to answer for!

“The One With the Sick Car Drive”

Jack Gellar is a lot more fun. He’s learnt some magic to entertain baby Emma (and Chandler).

Although he does struggle knowing which baby Emma is. To be fair a lot of them do look the same at that age. It seems a bit weird to me that in America they do the thing where they leave all the babies sleeping in boxes in one big room?

Aside from the risk of getting them mixed up, in my experience a newborn that isn’t being cuddled is a new born that will start crying in 30 seconds. You sure you still want that baby Monica? Her and Chandler are continuing their, quite possibly illegal, attempt to conceive in the hospital.

Our second born is now past one, running around, climbing up the walls, and trying to get as much language in their tiny little brain as possible.

He must be bored in this hospital, cause now he wants me to read him a book. Hrrm, they do leave a lot less time for your friends. You SURE you still want that baby Monica?

Chandler and her are doing it in a closet, and JACK CATCHES THEM AT IT. God imagine…

Things get even more awkward when he comes round to the idea the second they tell him they’re trying to conceive, going into excruciating detail about shagging. Hrrm, maybe we’ve reached the point where I shouldn’t be hanging out with my friends in front of my three year old. Woops.

Fortunately we don’t hear any of the gruesome details. My younger one is screaming his head off whilst I’m changing his pooey bum bum.

Monica, you sure you want that baby?

Real Live Sitcom Moment:

After the hospital we went off on holiday! A five hour car drive to Wales. Markedly different to the 7 minute cab ride to hospital.

It was going fine for the first hour, till our one year old got car sick for the first time. We pulled over and cleaned him up as best we could. Then tried to ignore the smell for the next three hours.

We finally got to Wales, crossing the, much too long, Prince of Wales bridge. It turns out I’ve watched way too many films with pivotal action scenes on suspension  bridges, and I spent the whole way across freaking out about the bridge collapsing, or accidentally driving off, or being attacked by evil mutants/Doctor Octopus/hyper-intelligent apes.

Fortunately half way across I was distracted by my son throwing up again, and my wife yelling at me to pull over immediately, despite being in the middle of a bridge.

​Think on, Monica. Think on.
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    One mans quest to watch all of the classic 90s sit-com Friends™ in real time over ten years.

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