​Another day, another episode of Friends, and boy, am I ready for it. With all the chaos of my own life lately, diving into the world of Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Monica, Joey, and Phoebe is a welcome distraction. Let's see what shenanigans they're up to this time.

Right off the bat, we're hit with the news of a memorial service for a friend. Oh no, who's it gonna be? My money's on Ugly Naked Guy. That guy was a legend in his own right, and I wouldn't put it past the writers to give him a proper send-off.

Meanwhile, back in my own reality, things are still a bit rocky. Job hunting hasn't been as easy as I thought it would be. It's like applying for jobs is a job in itself! And to make matters worse, my wife is getting increasingly impatient with my lack of progress. Can't say I blame her, though. The pressure is on to find something soon before we run out of savings.

Anyway, back to the gang. Chandler's still adjusting to his new gig in advertising, and it looks like he's starting to feel the pressure too. Hey, at least he's got a job! Maybe I should take a leaf out of his book and start considering alternative career paths. I mean, if Chandler can pivot from Statistical Analysis and Data Reconfiguration to advertising, then surely I can make a change too, right?

Meanwhile, Joey's got himself into another sticky situation. This time, he's accidentally agreed to participate in a memorial service for someone he doesn't even know. Classic Joey move. But hey, at least it's not as bad as the time he got his head stuck in a turkey.

As for Ross and Rachel, it seems like their relationship drama never ends. I swear, those two are like magnets for chaos. But hey, at least they keep things interesting. Makes my own marital spats seem tame in comparison.
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And let's not forget about Phoebe and her quirky antics. She's probably the only one in the group who can turn a memorial service into a comedy routine. Gotta love her unique perspective on life.

Real Live Sitcom Moment:
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So, I finally caved and decided to try my hand at baking. Armed with a recipe from Monica's cookbook (yes, that Monica), I set out to make cookies from scratch. Let's just say, things didn't exactly go as planned. I ended up with a batch of cookies that were so hard, they could double as hockey pucks. My wife tried to be supportive, but I could see the disappointment in her eyes as she struggled to take a bite without chipping a tooth. Looks like I'll be sticking to store-bought treats for now.

Monica and Chandler are surprised they’re cutting into their savings. 

No shit. 

Hasn’t he been out of a paying job for like three months? How much did these guys earn?! I quit my job a month ago and am already running out of money. At this rate we’ll be moving back in with my parents.

I’m with Chandler, you should never borrow money if you can help it. Money lending only exists as a way for people with money to take more from people who don’t. Though going to Joey isn’t a terrible idea, he’ll probably get drunk and forget they owe it to him.

Chandler and Monica accidentally both ask him for 2000 dollars. Woah! That’s almost £3000!

Joey tries to cover it up for, reasons? By saying Monica wants it for a boob job.

Not the smartest idea, but then he did apparently fall down the stairs as a child. Hrrm, maybe I was too quick to blame alcohol for his declining intellect…

I’m ashamed to say my own child has fallen twice. Though only one time was my fault. There was no harm done, but leaving the stair gate open is a pretty stupid mistake. Oh no. What if I fell down the stairs as a kid too?! What a legacy to pass on. A never ending chain of people too stupid to protect their kids from stairs.

At least I don’t seem to be as mentally impaired as Joey, who can no longer work out how to open child locks on a fridge. Or even one on a toilet. Hey! I really need one of those.
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“The One Without PIVOT”

Paul Rudd is moving in with Phoebe. And the guys help them move in by carrying the sofa. (Sadly no repeat of “PIVOT” from, Jesus Christ, FOUR years ago.)

Phoebe finds out that Rudd, dressed as Dennis the Menace for some reason, doesn’t want to get married again. Apparently things got so bad his ex-wife once defecated in… well we never find out where. Hang on. Was he married to Amber Heard?? 

Perhaps the reason she defecated, wherever it was, was because there was a childlock on the toilet seat? I’ve heard of leaving it down, but this is ridiculous.

After I finished installing the toilet seat child lock (turns out it’s quite hard to say no to household tasks when you don’t have a job), my wife says that this would have been a good point for Phoebe to bring up the question of kids.
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Hrrm. Not sure that’d help. If your man’s getting Cold Feet

​If your man’s getting cold feet at marriage, you’re not gonna bring up kids then are you? He’d run a mile.

Even the ever devoted Chandler’s having second thoughts about kids, saying he doesn’t want Monica’s body to change. Oh wait. He’s just talking about the boob job. 

Things seem to be coming to a bad end for Phoebe and Paul Rudd. Finally, this is my chance! Rudd will be mine… Then I won’t even need to get a job!

I’m not really sure I understand their problem here. She wants to get married so she doesn’t miss out, he doesn’t want to get married. 

Just have a fake wedding ceremony and don’t do the legal stuff surely?

Real Live Sitcom Moment:

With the child locks in place, my boy’s now moved onto toilet troubles of a different kind.
Twice in close succession, he’s crapped in the bath. Really is crazy what we pass onto our kids…

The first time it was a proper turtle head, and I somehow managed to grab him, and put him on a potty to complete the job. Without accidentally squeezing him hard enough to make my own fecal Nerf gun.

The second time not so lucky. He randomly stood up in the bath and started screaming. Before I could work out why I saw the dark shape drop between his legs and knew it was too late. 

To be fair to him, he was absolutely mortified. Crazy he remembered the previous time, knew it was coming, and really didn’t want to do it in the bath. I’m quietly impressed he’s already got such a well developed sense of shame. 
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If not a well developed sense of bowel control.