*Ahem* excuse me, just thought I’d try it out. Even though I’m not, like Chandler, responding to Ross greeting Julie.
I definitely do this joke in real life. I’m not sure how much this comes from being influenced by Friends™ and how much comes from a general desire to sleep with my male Real Live Friends.
I suspect it’s more the former, though my David the Science Guy is quite the hottie. Sadly any subconscious designs on him will now never come to pass…
“The One With the First Real Live Engagement”
Yep, David the Science Guy has decided to secure his partner for life. (Perhaps inspired by last week’s Real Live Sitcom Moment – or more likely Monica Number 2’s separation). Like lobsters holding claws they will march forward together into the future, in what many are calling “a sound financial decision”. Incidentally I am available for best man’s speeches…
According to my partner however, this would mostly consist of me talking about Friends™ and my hair.
“You do talk about those things a lot” I hear you cry. Well, yes, but you are here for Friends™ so let’s not disappoint!
This week’s episode covers workplace rivalries, losing your friends to their partners, and breast-milk.
And I’ve only experienced one of those things recently.
Having said that, I can bet there’s one Real Live Friend who’s tried breast-milk, if Cannibal Boss’s past form is anything to go by. Working with my Real Live Friends I’ve never experienced the macho one-up-man-ship of Joey’s job. Generally I shy away from that sort of thing. Not because I’m better than it (though I am) I just don’t like competing when I can’t win.
I do wonder if my unwillingness to join in such games sometimes makes me miss out on human interaction. I’d love to share a juice with someone over my failings, as Chandler and Joey do in this episodes excellent Wild West spoof. But it would more likely be alcohol for me. It is strange how little the Friends™ drink. But then the scene is funnier with Joey drinking juice instead of a beer…
Also I noticed that Joey actually wins by doing nothing in his final showdown. Predating Luigi by several years.
I’m not sure how I’d feel about trying breast-milk. On paper I find it less weird than drinking cow milk. AND I LOVE COW MILK. But I can imagine feeling a little different if it was placed in my hand… (a bottle of breast-milk, not a breast – I have no problem with that). I’d be fine in a “trying it for scientific reasons” way but the thought of chugging from a bottle with cookies, like Ross does, makes me a little queasy. I have no idea where this new found fear of enjoying things I shouldn’t has come from. Why should my main worry be “what if it’s amazing?” as if I would develop a hunger for breast-milk that could only be satisfied by jumping young mothers in parks.
Getting away with that would be even less likely now as I’ve just had my bike stolen! I’d have to run off into the underbrush, with the world’s seediest milk moustache. I say stolen, but maybe “taken” is a more apt word as I left it unlocked on the way to work when my key broke in the lock. That’ll teach me to use a ten year old Centre Parcs™ lock. I thought it would be fine! Who would have the confidence, in broad daylight, right outside the station, to ride off with a bike with a Centre Parcs™ lock stuck to it? Most people wouldn’t be seen dead being so un-cool. One of my Real Live Friends keeps their valuables in a Justin Bieber bag for this very reason. At least that’s what they tell us...
Sure enough my bike was gone when I got back. I couldn’t even stay mad on the walk home. I was imagining karmic vengeance for the thief (like them being hit by a lorry) and realised they’d probably be fine as they’d stolen the helmet as well! And then felt a grudging respect for the thief for being so safety conscious.
Mostly, I wasn’t angry I was just disappointed. Disappointed at seeing my last vestige of post-Brexit faith in humanity snuffed out. That was when I decided I’d quite like “not angry just disappointed” on my tombstone. I’d find it funny, in a tragic sort of way. Although it might be a bit depressing for other people walking through the cemetery. Especially if they didn’t think I chose it and it was just the work of a vengeful child: “HE ALWAYS USED TO SAY THAT TO ME!”
Not even my own son, just a random child with a chisel lashing out at the world in anger. Probably after having THEIR bike stolen. The cycle continues…
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
We’ve had little reason to worry about Monica Number 2s feelings as they’ve jumped back into dating with all the enthusiasm of a New Yorker, and brought a new squeeze to a recent gathering. I was surprised, however, when I met the new squeeze, only to find them suspiciously similar to Monica’s ex… which is almost worthy of a whole episodes plot in itself.