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2.10 - “The One Where I Watch The One With Russ”

25/1/2017

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The unbearable cold continues!

We can barely get out of bed in the morning because of it. It’s made worse by not being able to put the heating on, thanks to a combination of a) our loud boilers proximity to the bed and b) not knowing how to use the timer anyway.

My difficulty in getting up has been exacerbated by stopping drinking. I’d forgotten I no longer instantly fall asleep when I don't drink! My bosses have just gone on holiday, and I spent a whole hour before sleep last night thinking about what would happen if their plane crashed.

Anyway, the not drinking is a sensitive subject so let’s have no more talk of it!

“The One Where I Have to Talk About Drinking”

Oh, hey, Fun Bobby is back! I don’t remember him being in another episode… Monica has been busy the last two weeks! But… he’s an alcoholic now. Oh come on! Do I really have to talk about this?

FINE. The Friends™ Gods have spoken.

Hi, my name’s RLF and I am NOT an alcoholic. But I have stopped drinking again. Is that a coherent stance to take? In denial, but stopping anyway? I don’t know.

What I do know is:

I want to be able to develop complex thoughts over several days again. Rather than living a “Groundhog Day” existence where everything resets each day.

“BING. Seven O’Clock. Sonny and Cher on the radio. Time for work. See you again tomorrow. Nothing new will happen today. No new inspiring thought for you to carry forward. And if it does you’re unlikely to remember tomorrow.”

I’ve been aware of my fading memory for a long time and used to try and combat it with exercises like “try and remember one good thing and one bad thing about each day”, “remember these three things for tomorrow” etc. But then it got to the point where I can’t even remember when there’s something I’m supposed to try and remember!

Once that kicks in, changing is very hard.

I used to love watching films or a TV series, then reading all about it on Wikipedia or IMDB. Now I find myself unable to think of what I’ve watched and end up mindlessly refreshing Facebook™ on my commute instead.

My music tastes have ceased to evolve. On the rare occasions I hear a song I like I find I can’t even remember that something peaked my interest! Let alone think of anything to listen to…

So like Fun Bobby, I’ve stopped. For a while at least.

Friends™ tackles the HILARIOUS topic of Fun Bobby’s heavy drinking head on, as Monica convinces him to stop, and he instantly loses all of his “Fun” part. I’m beginning to suspect there may be other “not a good episode” related reasons for me not remembering this one.

But it does make some sobering points (sorry…). How do you do fun things without drinks?

“Wine tasting, Club, Zoo?”

This is even more difficult in Britain where it’s such a huge part of our culture. I suspect if the show was set here the Friends™ wouldn’t even notice Fun Bobby’s drinking problem.

Mercifully, unlike Bobby, so far I haven’t struggled to still go out. I just hope I’m not boring people by not drinking whilst doing so.

Elsewhere it looks like things are moving forward for the Friends™!

Joey secures his role as Dr Drake Ramoray (with some help from his agent, Estelle, in her first appearance). And Rachel’s got a new boyfriend! Although, he looks eerily similar to Ross… I swear that’s… isn’t that David Schwimmer under that wig?

Yup, looks like Rachel’s fallen into the same trap as Monica Number 2 (or should that now be Rachel Number 2?). But is it a mistake? Or even that unusual? Friends™ treats it as if Rachel is making one of the classic dating blunders (the first of which being “never start a land war in Asia…”). But people do have their types! Perhaps worryingly, my partner can now predict with unnerving accuracy whether I’m attracted to someone on TV.

Still, it’s not to be for Russ and Rachel, as her new relationship (and Monica’s) snuff out before they’ve barely even started.

At least Julie gets a happy send-off, as the music swells and her and Russ’s eyes meet!

Before they, presumably, rock off into the sunset together.

Real Live Sitcom Moment:

Despite no longer drinking I found myself wanting a nice, dry, non sugary beverage one evening. I was forced down to the off license to gaze longingly at the beers on display, only to find no non-alcoholic beer.

Apparently, drinking in Britain is now so much the rule, that off-licenses keep the non-alcoholic beer hidden away behind the counter. I had to surreptitiously ask for the guy to dig it out for me, like a twenties gangster trying to work his way around prohibition!
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2.9 - “The One Where I Watch The One With Phoebe’s Dad”

7/1/2017

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“Hey it’s Funny’s cousin… Not Funny.”

Top banter Monica… Perhaps, Friends™ fatigue has set in, or I’ve got back to work blues, but that’s hardly going down as the best line in a sitcom ever is it?

“The One With the Friends™ Party”

Despite my failure at my last party, I’ve powered through and had a rollicking good New Years Eve party. (Rollicking? Really?! *shrug* OK…)

The Friends™ are gearing up for a party too, for Christmas, as Phoebe searches for her father and Rachel is still angry at Ross. Oh boy, I hope this plot point doesn’t drag on…

There are a couple of upsides though. Mainly:

GUNTHER FINALLY HAS A NAME!! Praise the Friends™ Gods… I’ve been waiting over a year for this!!!

Phoebe, Joey and Chandler hitting the road to find her father when she discovers, he is not, in fact, the model in all the pictures that Grandmother gave her. And without even a mention of them missing the party! I am reminded of Chandler Number 2 and Joey Number 1s propensity to disappear with little warning. Last I heard they were swan-ing around Iceland.

I believe I’ve mentioned previously both my Real Live Friends and the Friends™ lack of driving expertise? (Due to city living). I think this is the first time we’ve actually seen one of the Friends™ drive! A shocking number of my mates have only just done their driving tests.

Mr Treeger is also back, as he awkwardly hits on Rachel at their party. A little weird for a landlord to hit on a tenant... but if you can’t hit on someone awkwardly at Christmas when can you? I can’t imagine my landlord hitting on me (awkward Facebook™ friend requests aside) but he does have an irritating tendency to turn up unannounced. This was a particular problem over Christmas as my partner and I spent a lot of it in our pyjamas.

Speaking of being scantily clad, a broken radiator results in Monica and Rachels flat getting overheated, just in time for the party. Lucky bastards. I’m having to wear long johns at work! Though I’ll give you a tip: wear them all day at work (for all the frisson of secretly wearing tights with none of the danger), then take them off in the evening and go to the pub, and it’s like you’re going commando!

I was too hot, too, at our New Years Party. We dressed up as classic Friends™ moments, and I foolishly went for the time Joey wears all of Chandlers clothes. My partner really lived up to the theme though. After deciding on Phoebe, in the episode where they all wear wedding dresses, she and her friend had to re-enact the whole scene of pretending they were getting married just to get a hold of one!

 I find it a little weird for the Friends™ to spend the whole of Christmas Eve and Day together. Not that I don’t love my own Real Live Friends, but Christmas has always been a time of family for us. Due to the mass exodus from London to see family (or go to Iceland) I’ve barely seen anyone over the holidays. Hopefully this will be remedied soon!

Real Live Sitcom Moment:

Although I spent a fair amount of the holidays seeing family, Phoebe isn’t the only one with an absentee father now. My father hasn’t run off; he’s just gone to Australia to see the rest of his family. I hope he has a nice time! But it did give me the opportunity to steal his beard trimmers and remove my lame attempt at a holiday beard.

For, what I can only assume are sentimental reasons, my dad’s had the same set of trimmers for rather a long time. Unfortunately this resulted in part of them falling off and making its way down the drain. What else could I do, but dive into the mire to rescue my fathers prized facial heirloom?

Heh heh heh, he’ll never suspect a thing…
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