This house is too run down, this one is too far out, this one’s got a tree growing under it...
There was one really nice one. A beautiful, Grade II listed cottage in a lovely location. Even with a built in stair lift! (The agent informed me it would be removed before sale, but as far as I’m concerned a stair lift’s a selling point.)
It was completely us. But my heart sank as we made a tester journey to the station. I just know I’d be miserable spending three hours a day commuting. I’d like to stick with two, thank you very much.
It broke my heart to let my partner down in her giddy excitement. Her more local job renders her immune to the problem of being priced out of London.
I’m sure we’ll find somewhere!
“The One Where Rachel and Ross get engaged (no not those ones)”
Even if my life isn’t necessarily matching up with Friends™ the lives of my Real Life Friends are syncing up nicely. Rachel Number 1 and Ross Number 2 have just bought a house. It’s like we’re all in some sort of giant game of mortgage dominoes.
They also used the opportunity of their house-warming to announce their engagement. (OK, so maybe we’re not all completely in sync.) They’re certainly beating Rachel and Ross themselves, by several years, so good on them!
At least Rachel and Ross have each other. Chandler and Joey are struggling over their “life failures” (with women and jobs respectively) and Phoebe too remains single. But it does help drive the plot lines. We have Chandler getting Joey a job (because after all, the only transferable skill you need for a job is being able to lie…) and an old flame of Phoebe returning.
No, not David the Science Guy, SUBMARINE GUY. Played by the blood of the tiger himself: Charlie Sheen. #Winning.
Even though him and Phoebe supposedly hook up every two years on his shore leave.
It could also be because a lot of his scenes are just plain weird. There’s a strange repeated joke of them not being able to keep their hands off each – because of their chicken pox. Perhaps it’s just me finding the juxtaposition of sex scene and infectious illness uncomfortable?
The whole episode feels quite silly really. Appropriately, it whizzes through the two weeks of Sheen’s shore leave - just like how my own life feels at the moment. But it’s almost like they got to the end of season 2 and just picked the scraps of their last few ideas before the season finale.
There’s also almost no Rachel or Ross at all. Although we do eventually have the pay-off of Ross dressing as a naval officer and sweeping Rachel off her feet. He looks more dapper than Sheen, if I may say so.
The main redeeming feature of the episode is Monica. Probably, for me, because her story deals more with relationships. (And I am, of course, still Monica Number 1). The pre-credits sequence has a lovely moment between her and Chandler. The classic scene of them licking things to claim them as their own:
The scenes between her and Richard are no less sweet, as they get to know each other better. Surprisingly these confirm my position as a Monica. I’ve tried the trick of setting my clocks fast to stop me being late for everything too! And can also be pretty anal over the duvet covering the bed in the correct way. Although, in my case, it’s so the cats don’t get half the garden on our sheets.
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
This has to be Ross Number 2’s proposal. The poor guy was just getting ready to go down on one knee, only for a bird with perfect aim to shit on him.
The only way it could be more perfect was if it had been a chicken.