As is now a tradition at this time of year, I’ve fallen a little behind so won’t be discussing Thanksgiving yet. Something for which I am thankful, being British.

Read on for Season 2 Episode 6…

“The One With Four Men and Two Babies”

Oh hey, Ben’s back. And it’s only been six whole episodes!

Already the writer’s are falling prey to the problem of how to include a baby in a long running sit-com. But they make a decent stab of it here. Chandler and Joey even get to venture outside in one of the few scenes not shot in a studio.

This results in one lost baby (it’s never actually confirmed if they recover the correct one…) as well as a surprisingly filthy joke about Joey’s uncle having a big tongue and a beautiful wife. I always feel like they missed a trick with the baby switching by not having Ross change Ben’s diaper at the end... only to find they brought back a girl. If I ever invent a time machine and become a writer on the show I’ll definitely change that.

Aside from the (in my view: correct) observation that babies look the same, a lot of the humour is derived from Chandler and Joey making a beautiful couple. A strange case of the series reflecting Chandler Number 2 and Joey Number 1s relationship.

But that’s not all, as my partner has also had her musical desires hindered. She joined a covers band to provide maternity cover only to find a week before the show that the old singer still wants to do it.

Good work from Phoebe Number 3! But quite a weird coincidence.

Phoebe’s plot of no one appreciating her music reminds me of when I was in bands. I’d force my Real Live Friends to come watch, only for them to stand stoney-faced with their arms folded. Just like Rachel, I think a lot of them felt they had to pretend to like us to be nice. A point driven home after Cannibal Boss and I were discussing getting everyone from the old scene back together. She was very enthusiastic until I suggested getting the band back together as well.

There isn’t just synergy between Friends™ and my life this week but also Friends™ and, err… Friends™. Giovanni Ribisi (the actor, and scientologist, best known for playing Phoebe’s brother) makes an appearance as the man who comes to retrieve his condom from Phoebe’s guitar case. Many people have suggested this character could well be Phoebe’s brother as they don’t know each other yet. A nice little ret-con I think, it’s good to keep things simple.

Elsewhere, the sibling theme continues, as Monica almost kills Ross by forgetting he’s allergic to Kiwi. Although to be fair, I didn’t even know you could be allergic to Kiwi. This leads to a sweet scene at the end where they reminisce about their childhood. This made me a little sad, as now-a-days my sisters and I only seem to do this in the odd Facebook™ post.

Real Live Sitcom Moment:

I went to visit one of my Surrogate Father Real Live Friends the other day. We ended up having a lovely walk to the shops with a child. A sentence I never thought I’d write.

We, mercifully, didn’t take any buses and didn’t pick up any women. For obvious reasons. (Take your pick between “I’m in a relationship” and “I’m terrible with women”). But it actually turned out to be quite magical. The minute we walked outside a balloon floated down upon us. I had to fight the child for it but got it in the end.

Then we came upon a house moving where they’d left loads of cuddly toys outside they no longer wanted. Resulting in one very happy child. I just hope they generally were no longer wanted and not just left behind...

I’m a little freaked out by all the coincidences this week. But not as freaked out as we were when we got home and one of the toys started making a satanic gurgling sound because its batteries had run down. Truly terrifying.

Well, I’m off on holiday tomorrow so will try and keep this brief. But am never one to remain silent like Gunther…

 “The One With all the Recycling”

Speaking of lurking silently, Chandler is trying to generate a cool aura of unavailability by not answering his phone. I used to do much the same until people stopped calling.

But it pays off for him as he manages to seduce a woman using his inside knowledge of her hang up on “Bob”.

As he says: on the one hand “pure evil” but on the other “horny and alone”. Fittingly on #InternationalMensDay both are apt descriptions for the new breed of “alt-right meninists” who’ve helped sweep Donald Trump to victory. Aggressively promoting their own country and decrying ISIS with no awareness that they are merely the western manifestation of the same phenomenon.

Still, if you’re going to hate women because they don’t sleep with you I suppose it’s better to vote Trump than behead people.

But enough politics (and please click here if you want to see the other side of #InternationalMensDay that isn’t just men complaining about feminism).

As Chandler finds, it’s nice to not feel alone (if briefly…). And I’ve drawn some comfort from the Friends™ being forced to choose between spending money on birthdays or nice dinners. I’m missing two birthday parties this week due to my holiday. But I know I shouldn’t complain. At least I don’t have to work for a few days!

But, as someone who gets paid a little less than a lot of his friends, I’m often in Phoebe, Joey and Rachel’s position of begrudgingly having to spend money I don’t really have.

I know talking about salary, very un-British. But I’m glad I’m not alone!

I’m rather sick of thinking about money at the moment. As someone in a relationship, I often fall victim to the truism that being in a relationship is bloody expensive. But rarely feel it as keenly as this week with a double whammy of holiday and my partner’s birthday. The struggle is real. The struggle mostly being not to ruin my partner’s birthday by talking about money the whole time.

Normally I find it quite easy to ignore differences in me and my Real Live Friends salaries (until my mum brings it up). But Friends™ has made me reassess my previous assumption that the numerous last minute holidays of Chandler Number 2 and Joey Number 1 were because they were single. And I suppose the fact they’re now dating. Really we should have seen it coming…

I’ve got to go pack now so will have to leave you as unsatisfied as Chandlers squeeze.

I haven’t even covered the implication Rachel slept with a father whilst babysitting.

Perhaps in an episode heavy with awkward situations the message really is that sometimes it’s better not to ask.

And poor Monica too, as she loses her job. But hey! She can always fall back on babysitting!

Real Live Sitcom Moment:

We’ve had a bit of a problem with our recycling bin of late. More precisely: we haven’t got one anymore.

I’m not entirely sure where it’s gone. I only hope if someone took it they’ve been using it themselves. It’s what the bin would have wanted.

Unfortunately my slavish middle-class devotion to not letting things go to waste has resulted in a build up of recycling in our flat. My partner is not best pleased but the cats are loving it.

Back a bit sooner than expected? You may have noticed I skipped a few weeks. But, as this episode explicitly states, it’s now been around two months since the start of Season 2.

So I thought I’d better get back on track!

“The One With a Slightly Awkward Hookup”

Ah Joey and Chandler, the ultimate sitcom Bromance. Forget your Ted and Marshall, Tim and Mike, and even Turk and JD. Chandler and Joey are where it all began!

They’ll be there for each other. Forever. Whether spending thanksgiving in a box to make amends, or officiating a wedding, Joey and Chandler were the best of friends. No will they, wont they needed. With the exception of the odd gay joke, (and perhaps certain sections of the fanbase…) it’s the ultimate platonic friendship.

So it’s a little awkward that my Joey Number 1 and Chandler Number 2 have started going out...

Yep, it turns out moving in together has worked out a little too well… and taken Real Live Friends in a rather different direction to the show. But, like the most hardcore of shippers, we’re all delighted by this turn of events. And it does go to show you can always know your friends better!

It’s a theme covered head on this week, as Phoebe’s hidden gay husband comes to light and causes a mass spillage of secrets. A lot of the strength of longer lasting friendships comes from being able to unleash this level of mutually-assured destruction. My Real Live Friends have so many embarrassing things on me the only way I cope is by feigning indifference at all my past mistakes. “I was young, I was foolish, I didn’t know better.” Now I do know better. I sometimes feel I’m a little too risk averse as a result.

The theme of secrets gives us a solid episode. There’s a neat reversal of the awkwardness of coming out as Phoebe’s husband reveals he needs a divorce as he is in fact straight. But it does leave me in a difficult position with Real Live Friends. Just the slightest over share and I could be in the doghouse. I can say though that I once met some guys considering getting a civil partnership just for the tax breaks. Not quite a green card but it’s pretty close!

Other secrets the episode deals with are the first mention of Chandlers “nubbin” and Joey being in a porno. As far as I’m aware, none of my Real Live Friends have been in porn. Although, given the increase in students undertaking sex work to help fund their degrees during the recession, I wouldn’t be surprised. One Real Live Friend did offer to show me a sex tape they’d made with their partner. But I had nothing of my own to trade for it. And also it would have been weird.

Not too weird for the Friends™ mind! They happily watch Joey’s porno. I really have to wonder why Chandler just happens to have a copy of it?

Perhaps the biggest secret revealed, is that Ross and Julie still haven’t “sealed the deal” so to speak.

Is two months a particularly long time before having sex with a new partner? It’s certainly longer than I’ve ever lasted (and longer than a lot of my past relationships…).

Rachel doesn’t miss the opportunity given to her by Ross confiding in her, and commences an epic campaign of “cock-blocking”. It seems this season is very much retreading last years’ angle, but this time from Rachel’s perspective. And you have to feel sorry for her as she inadvertently helps Ross overcome his worry and finally make it to sexual partner number 2! Go Ross!

Like Rachel, I overstayed my welcome at a gathering the other day after we got together to celebrate Halloween and (scariest of all) my David the Science Guys engagement.

Unlike Rachel, I wasn’t staying after everyone else had left to offer sexual advice, but rather to pick their brains about home buying. Friends™: 1 – Boring Old Reality: 0

The late stay resulted in me having a very Halloween appropriate drive home after part of the motorway closed for the night. I was forced to take a spooky detour through a foggy forest… Surprisingly, it turned out to be quite lovely, as I ended up seeing a menagerie of woodland creatures, deer, rabbits, a fox and even my first ever badger!

These made a welcome change from the poor cat-murdered creatures my partner leaves hidden in pans in my garden for me to deal with. Thankfully never anything as big as the pigeon Rachel has to deal with!

Real Live Sitcom Moment:

This one’s just ridiculous. We were attempting a scientific experiment at work where you crack open Polos™ in pitch darkness and can see sparks.

Not only could I not get it to work. But I think I’m the only person in history who’s managed to cut their finger trying to snap a sweet in two!

FIRST