Torn To Ribbons

2.21 - “The One Where I Watch The One With the Bullies”

15/7/2017

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Perhaps my seven foot tall Real Live Friend should be Phoebe’s dad instead? Who, as we find out this week, LOVES STILTS.

Unfortunately that’s all Phoebe finds out about him. She’s finally plucked up the courage to try and see him again, only to find he’s been absent for 4 years. But leaving behind a half-brother for her!

Lucky Phoebe, I’ve always wanted a brother, and with Giovanni Ribisi making his second appearance they hit it off instantly.

“The One Where I Decide to Make My Own Real Live Sitcom Moment”

There’s a real feel that the writers have realised they’re approaching the end of season two, and decided to start tying up some plot threads. As well as setting some up for the future. Along with the return of Phoebe’s daddy issues we get some resolution for Monica’s job hunt as she takes a crappy job in a 50s themed diner. Flame retardant boobs and all! Still it beats her brief flirtation with a gambling addiction (well, buying stocks and bonds…)

This all leaves Chandler and Ross with little to do but sip coffee. Not an easy task when you’re beset upon by hat stealing bullies.
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I’m definitely more on the Chandler and Ross side of the bully/nerd spectrum here. Like Ross I’ve barely ever been in a fight. The one time I have been beaten up (as they astutely state, there’s always one time…) I was too busy trying to stop my glasses getting smashed to fight back. You wouldn’t see that in a Specsavers™ advert.

Chandler and Ross may be struggling with somewhere safe to go but Joey, Phoebe and Rachel have the opposite problem after getting trapped in a taxi by a dog.

Yes. HAHA, just like happened to me recently. I’m still too sore about that to enjoy the coincidence.

With Phoebe’s missing father, absent family members seem to be weighing heavily on the Friends™.

It’s a thought that’s weighing heavily on me too. Almost as I type, my Grandpa is being laid to rest on the other side of the world. He died peacefully over the weekend at the age of 96. Quite the achievement when you consider he was given 6 months to live after escaping the Siege of Malta during the war.

He escaped a little too effectively though, and ended up in Australia after the war, rendering him absent for us long before his final escape.

My memories of the few times we met are filled with joy. But my own absence at his funeral, caused by location and timing, afford me none of the catharsis of the mourning process, as so beautifully portrayed back in season one.

Real Live Sitcom Moment:

It seems there’s been a lot of dog related violence lately (I really should get round to watching Old Yeller) and this week Phoebe even runs over a dog. Given my past history of dogs running into my car I think that clinches it.

I AM PHOEBE.

And yet I have no Real Live Sitcom Moment… How can I become even more like Phoebe? What has she done recently?

I’ve got it! I’m going to get a tattoo.
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    One mans quest to watch all of the classic 90s sit-com Friends™ in real time over ten years.

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