But also, thanks to the filming requirements of Dick Clark's New Years Rockin' Eve, it’s New Years Eve!
Hang on; didn’t I go through all this a month ago?
Well actually, no…
“The One Without New Years”
Yep, even more tragically than Christmas™, we spent our first New Years as parents doing nothing.
Maybe half a bottle of Prosecco each? We didn’t even stay up till the countdown.
To rub things in further Monica refers to Christmas™ as “about being with the people you love”. Thanks Monica. Ya bitch. If Christmas is about being with the people you love, isn’t New Years about being with people you like a lot but can only stand to be around whilst steaming drunk?
No wait, that is Christmas™.
Two people who don’t need drinks to enjoy New Years are Monica and Ross! Merely appearing on the aforementioned New Years special is enough to get them giddy with excitement and busting out their 8th grade dance routine.
I can understand the excitement, given the rest of us aren’t allowed to do anything. But seriously Monica, get some tact.
Surprisingly, Dick Clark's New Years Rockin' Eve is a real thing! It’s aired on American TV almost every year since 1973, even to the present day. A bit like Jools Hollands Hootenany with less of an air of embarrassment.
Well, excluding the embarrassment of Monica and Ross.
Monica’s absence gives the others an opportunity to search for their Christmas presents. I’ve never really got this. It’s very unsportsmanlike. My Cannibal Boss is notorious for doing it, to the extent their partner hid dummy presents several years ago. Just like Monica!! Hang on maybe this is where they got the idea?! Oh this Chicken and Egg situation is getting out of hand.
One Chicken and Egg situation that’s not out of hand is the Chick and Duck, who haven’t been seen for five whole months. I was beginning to think they’d had them for Thanksgiving! Hey, it would beat beef trifle.
I wonder how Elle Macpherson feels about the whole situation?? What’s worse? Finally moving into a flat only to realise you have share it with a Chick and a Duck, or realising you have to share it with Joey? She must be cool with both given Joey and her get together at the end of the episode. It’s a sweet moment, but a little undercut by her clearly stating several weeks ago she’s not into him. At least the show's consistent in not having her be a real character.
The Chick and Duck only make a brief appearance. I’m surprised we never got an episode where Joey and Chandler fight over paternity after he moved out. Damn that would have been good, I should have written for this show.
Rachel suckers Chandler into looking for the presents by making him worried Monica will get him a great present, and lots of little ones, and how it’ll make her feel bad if he’s only got her one.
I didn’t have to worry about this as we agreed to just get one present this year due to the difficulties of the current situation.
And then, of course, my wife DID get me several presents, making me look a right prick in front of her family. Utterly selfish if you ask me.
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
We attempted to make use of our support bubble again, mostly as my mother in law has got two new kittens. Hopefully no-one will judge me for this. Personally I consider seeing new kittens an INCREDIBLY essential journey. I wonder how Dominic Cummings feels about it?
Any questions of morality were irrelevant in the end, as we never made it to the motorway.
The first snow of the year had come in, marking a nice change from the usual sights, but making the hill out of town unassailable. It was a little a scary time as we eeked our way up, cars stopping and starting, slipping in front of us. One truck losing its tread could have meant the end of us, baby, and Real Live Friends.
But we got through it, making a swift U-turn at the top of the hill. Like Boris Johnson contemplating lockdown restrictions. And we went down again and headed home. Like the Grand Old Duke of York.
Both of us relieved, but sweating slightly more than the current Duke of York.