Torn To Ribbons
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6.25 - “The One Where I Watch The One With the Proposal Part 2”

12/9/2021

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Woah, what the hell?!?

We’re still in season six?! How is this happening? Am I stuck here forever? Hey, it would help Chandler keep a steady weight.

I guess it makes sense; Monica’s still awkwardly talking to Richard. But I thought there were supposed to be 24 episodes a season?!

Are they just gona add extra episodes randomly now?? Keep me tied down in the Friends™ universe forever? Franchise things like Marvel™ or Star Wars™? I’m not having that.

And now the timeline’s all screwy too, it’s not like I’ve been trapped in suspended animation for two weeks. Though, at times, it feels like I have been for a whole year…

Let’s put this season to bed, hopefully we’ll wake up and none of this awful stuff will have happened.

I am, of course, mostly talking about Ross and the student.

 “The One Where We Limp To the Finish”

Even if I’m shattered and shagged by the twin demands of parenthood and keeping up with Friends™, thankfully it’s still good.

This is real explosive dynamite with Richard. Chandler is such an idiot with his bluff about not wanting to get married. I hope he hasn’t blown it!

Rachel and Phoebe are worried about finding love, and I do feel a bit sorry for them, most people I know are now worrying more about kids. And that’s just the people with the kids. Ho, ho…

Now I’m a year in I can see why parents never try to dissuade their mates from having kids. Sure we know how awful it can be, but the joys more than make up for it – we lie to our friends. Desperately trying to tie them to the same runaway train we’re now stuck on. One of us, one of us.

In a way I’m lucky many of my friends have had children at the same time as me. But it sometimes feels like we’re going through the experience separately. The geography which divides us is more insurmountable with children and (in the case of David the Science Guy) pandemic travel restrictions.

And to rub it in, Joey’s got his bloody boat! He won’t be struggling to go anywhere, there’s no traffic light list on the open waters.

For some reason it’s a hard choice for Rachel and Phoebe, as they try and lock Joey and Ross into a “if we’re not married by forty, let’s do it” pact. On the one hand “Ross is a good father” (“no he’s not” counters my wife) and on the other hand Joey HAS HIS OWN BOAT. I know what I’d choose! Ross, obviously, he can look after my kid for me.

The married before forty pact is one of those weird Friends™ chicken and egg things. I definitely remember doing it, but was that just because of watching the show? I’m pretty sure any deals I made a decade ago have long since expired. Looking back, it's quite funny how desperate we were as teenagers to lock someone down into marriage. Guys, slow down. You have plenty of time!

And now I am married!! Wait, what happens with one of these deals if I got divorced and was single again at forty?  I’m not sure I’d want to be beholden to that. Ross still seems to be eligible for the pact, but surely after the first go you might not feel as much pressure to get married again?

Monica’s faced with a much harder choice than “Joey or Ross”. And you have to feel sorry for her. Thinking she’s about to lose everything she’s built and being offered her old dream at the same time.

But she’d be an idiot to choose Richard! Sure the man’s still hot now, but he’s maybe got, like, five years left of his looks?? Even less if they have kids! He’d go grey and haggard in a heartbeat.

I hate to break out of character at this point, but I’m sure we could all do with a breather:

Matthew Perry is really smashing it with this. You can see why he had a brief go as a romantic lead in the movies.

And you can see why Monica chooses him, flipping the tables for a surprise proposal of her own.

Bravo, Friends™, you’ve won me back. God, I love this show.

Real Live Sitcom Moment:

We took our daughter to her first wedding this week. I know, they grow up so fast.

She coped pretty well with all the excitement, running round and round the venue, dashing down the aisle shortly before the actual bride arrived. (Should that be “arrove”? Man, why is that not a word…)

But sadly, she started kicking off the moment the music started, so I had to take her out the ceremony, as the venue staff skilfully shut the doors behind me. Oh well, there’s always the photo shoot!

Oh wait, she’s kicking off now too, better take her round the block.

This continued for the rest of the day, neatly coinciding with every bit of fun, ritual, and moment of ceremony the wedding had to offer. Ah well, fingers crossed I’ll be able to make their next wedding.
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