Torn To Ribbons

6.24 - “The One Where I Watch The One With the Proposal Part 1”

15/8/2021

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Woo, just got back from a fancy work do and am absolutely steaming.

You gotta get that free bar while you can.
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Pretty sure I accidentally bought a boat? Or was that Joey…

God I wish I had a boat.

OI, JOEY, LET ME USE YOUR BOAT MATE!!!

It was a charity do for Rachel’s work, or was it a craft beer festival my work got me a free ticket for? I’m not sure.

Now, is it just me? Or is Phoebe making a lot more jokes about being sexually inappropriate with the other Friends™ lately? Are you getting desperate Phoebe? Is your biological clock ticking? Don’t worry, you’re still young! I’m sure you’ll find someone. Me? No, sorry I’m married.

Although, throw in a boat and maybe we’ll talk!

Anyway, time to watch “The One With the Proposal Part 1” or as it should be called:

“The One Without the Proposal”

Everyone’s finally calling out Ross for dating someone 12 years younger than him. TWELVE.

But he’s told me he finally ended it. Not cause of the age gap, not because he could get fired, not even because her dad is Bruce Willis. He ended it because he found out she’s the sort of fun person who has water balloon fights. What a loser.

I remember when my first girlfriend cited “lack of maturity” and dumped me, despite being two years younger. We almost got back together a few months later as I “seemed more mature” (well, I had a car…) but I blew it by revealing I’d got with someone else in the interim. Altogether now:

WE WERE ON A BREAK.
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​It worked out for the best as I ended up marrying someone, who you may know as my wife.

I remember well the feeling of the proposal, the excitement of telling people, hoping they won’t let it slip. And on the day, feverishly checking my pockets to make sure I’ve got the ring, trying not to give it away, hoping she wouldn’t ask to wear my jacket. It’s all the same as Chandler.

Until bloody Richard shows up!!

God, that dude’s smooth as fuck. But not only has he buggered the whole proposal, now he’s making moves on Monica!

Honestly, you get rid of one inappropriate older man and another pops up to take their place…

Real Live Sitcom Moment:

I finally had a chance for a peaceful night’s sleep to myself! No alarms, no baby, just me and some Real Live Mates camping for a whole weekend. We got settled in, had a little explore, hit the bottle, and it was time for bed.

Snuggled up in my sleeping bag I was more ready than I’ve ever been for a bit of peace, far from the stress of the modern world, only the birds would wake me.

Of course it was not to be.

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP. What the hell? What sort of arsehole let’s their car alarm go off at one in the morning at a campsite? **Grumble** They better sort that out quick!

Five minutes later.

BEEP, BEEP, BEEP.

Turns out I am that sort of arsehole.
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After two more times of pressing my key and thinking that was the end of it, I stumbled out my tent in a haze to find my new car had somehow put itself in full blown panic mode! For reasons known only to the manufacturing geniuses of South Korea, the car had opened ALL of its windows, and decided no-one on this campsite was sleeping until this was reversed.
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So, there you are, not only had my one night of peace been ruined, I’d ruined it for everyone else too. Oh, please forgive me fellow campers!  
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    One mans quest to watch all of the classic 90s sit-com Friends™ in real time over ten years.

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