Torn To Ribbons
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4.6 - “The One Where I Watch The One With the Dirty Girl”

1/12/2018

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It’s Kathy’s birthday! Timed perfectly by the writer’s to coincide with my wifes.

Much like Chandler and Kathy’s burgeoning attraction, my wife’s present involves antici…..

pation. She’s got tickets for a show which unfortunately isn’t till February.

I’ve made it up to her by throwing in a coupon for “one hour of Me love”.

“The One With the Free Beer”

I can relate all too well to Joey’s struggle to get a better present for Kathy than Chandler.
And now, with Christmas on the way, I wish I had a friend like Chandler to swoop in and buy all my presents for me. Hopefully not due to being attracted to my wife though.

Paget Brewster, who plays Kathy, does an excellent job of playing a woman caught in a complex situation. I’m looking forward to seeing this play out!

There was one throwaway line about Joey which made me pause for thought. He was once in a relationship for three whole years?! This must have been before the start of the show.

But his character makes a lot more sense if you think, maybe, he spent his early twenties in a relationship. Maybe he’s been trying to make up for lost time the whole series? At the minute he’s anything but the “player” first introduced, his last two girlfriends look like genuine attempts to build a relationship. Good on you Joe!

Another person making attempts to move forward... is Ross. The undercurrent of tension’s still there with him and Rachel but he’s super keen on his new date! Until he sees her apartment.
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It’s a pretty grim state of affairs. But makes me feel better about falling into old habits with the cleanliness of our house!

We’ve developed a running joke about a CD Janice found in her pocket on the way out and threw in our garden to “pick up later”. The running joke being me pointing out it’s still there every week. And Janice continuing to do nothing about it.

At least she’s nowhere near as bad as Ross’s date, although I’d never say no to a messy, farcical sex scene.

Just hopefully with less rats.

Maybe our house would be cleaner if I spent more time tidying and less time reading about ‘Vein of Galen Aneurysmal Malformations’ on Wikipedia™. I admit I had to give up on this one after feeling a little queasy. With that and Monica and Phoebe’s new business catering for funerals (yes, really) I’m getting a bit freaked out.

It’s high time Monica got her career back on track. Apparently she’s been unemployed for months. How has she been surviving?! Fortunately Phoebe is also recently unemployed, and yet somehow has 500 dollars to spare, so they can work together. This leads to the world’s most awkward funeral when Phoebe interrupts the singing widower to demand payment (yes, really…)

It reminds me of the morning after our wedding. The receptionist made a mistake and asked me to handover hundreds of pounds for our room on checkout. Even though it was included in our wedding package. Deathly hungover, and basking in the glory of the best day of my life, I’m ashamed to say I just laughed and walked off. Leaving my wife to clear up the confusion.

I’m still a little concerned about my parents that day to be honest. They really did seem out of sorts.

Dad put me in awkward position the other day. As if to highlight my feelings of inadequacy over “never buying him a drink” (still hurts…) he gave me a pricey looking “Vintage Ale” as a gift when I went round for tea. I then appeared even more mean, and ungrateful, when I tried to have the “it’s a nice gift, but I’m not really drinking at the moment” conversation.

Could be worse, Cannibal Boss had the same thing happen with her parents and they asked if she was pregnant!

I shouldn’t feel too bad about my dad, seeing as he gave my brother in law one too, I highly suspect he won them in a raffle.

Real Live Sitcom Moment:

This week I’ve mostly been knocking on doors and being a plant. Sounds strange, but true.

Being a door knocker is the most irritating. We’re STILL trying to get our internet sorted out. Not naming any names *cough* Richard Branson *cough*

Even though we were told it would take 8 to 10 days, every time I ring up there’s a new problem and they add on another month. The latest excuse is them telling me they now need permission from SIX of my neighbours to dig up a driveway.

So, I’ve been traipsing from door to door, feeling like a Jehovah’s Witness trying to spread the love of a holy Virgin™.

Being a plant was much more fun. Janice was putting on a kids production of Little Shop of Horrors™. But none of them were big enough to man the plant. So I stepped up for my fifteen minutes of fame.
It was super fun in the end. And imagine my delight when the kids gave me a present at the end of the week!

A crate of beer…
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