I’m still woefully behind on the blog, and house tasks continue to stack up. But our Christmas decorations are finally gone!
The second I finished last times Magnus Opus I got our tree in the car, and realised the tip was closing in three minutes.
So I’ve been driving around with a Christmas tree in my car.
It’s like I accidentally watered one of those little pine fresh trees and things got way out of hand!
At least my car smells lovely.
“The One With the Unavoidable Brother”
Even with all the busy-ness and time pressure it’s been a wonderful month. I suppose because we’ve been busy together.
And I’ve managed to see some Real Live Friends too, making it to Me Number 2s husband’s birthday. (I stayed so late I almost missed the hour long rail replacement bus home!)
Being spread out is making it even harder to meet these days. Especially in the case of Chandler Number 1 seeing as they’re in Cairo. It may as well be Yemen. I had a moment of confused sadness when I was about to ask why they weren’t there before I remembered. Bloody idiot, like a confused child asking where their dear departed cat has gone.
At the party Ross Number 2 took me to task for not discussing my mates enough in the blog! It can be hard to know what to say when we only meet once a month. But also, after the recent complaints of my wife, I’m trying to be a little careful with over-sharing stories that aren’t mine to tell.
To see my friends more I’ve been trying to convince people to come work with me, like Joey and Ross, but people are all settled in their own careers. It’s probably for the best. Even when you love someone, working with them every day can change the dynamic a little.
Joey and Ross won’t go through that though; I can’t imagine Joey staying in his museum job that long. Certainly not as long as I worked in a museum!
When I was there we didn’t have enough employees to have the level of segregation in Ross’s museum. But I’m working on introducing it at my current job! One day I will get that office dammit!! No more sitting with the bluecoats.
It was funny how people at the museum could be set in their ways. I think working in a museum appeals to a certain creature of habit. You have to like a small degree of order to want to work in a place that fills glass cases with bits of pottery.
Another reason we’ve got less time (but more time for each other) is we’ve started a weekly dance class! I’m not ashamed to admit I’m loving it. But I can’t help picturing Joey and Mr Treeger on the rooftop as we float around the room bumping into people.
Speaking of bumping into people (and I suppose a kind of dance…) Chandler is having trouble sexing Kathy. Not for any good reason, he just doesn’t want to compete with Joey. Sex under pressure is always the worst sex (unless the pressure is “we better hurry, we may get caught”) so I can understand Chandler’s fear.
My heart goes out to anyone who has sex for the first time on their wedding night! Years of build-up and their whole future relationship revealed in an instant.
Luckily Monica is on hand with the infamous erogenous zones scene:
However, when I looked it up, I was shocked to discover I’d misremembered one of the erogenous zones! I must apologise to all the women whose wrists I’ve played with over the years.
Chandler isn’t the only one having sex under pressure, Phoebe’s brother is trying for a baby. I have to be honest. I knew this was coming. I think part of the reason I’ve been writing slow is further delaying this. The quest to find my half-brother must finally commence! What if he needs me to father a child for him??
It’s appropriate too for Phoebe to become an aunt at the same time as me (or an uncle, I
don’t know the gender). Her situation may be a little more complex than mine, but definitely funnier.
Maybe knowing this storyline was coming was weighing on my mind at the birthday party. David the Science Guy’s wife excitedly told me she had some news and a picture to show. Not another sonogram! Not another baby, it was only yesterday they got married!
She got out her phone and I relaxed. It was only a picture of their adorable new puppy!
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
We finally made use of the present Rachel Number 1 got us for our wedding.
A free Virgin™ experience day with options including a helicopter ride, bunjee jumping and Michelin starred restaurants!
Naturally we went with the medieval banquet option. We were serenaded by Henry VIII, entertained by jesters, and soaked in all you can drink ale and wine!
We must have got pretty hammered. The next day at work my boss pointed out a red rash on my chin. I figured it was probably just the cold? It wasn’t till hours later it came back to me. The hazy memory of my wife putting lipstick on me on the train home.