Ostensibly, this is to help us through the late stages of pregnancy and the early stages of parenthood, but, like a lot of people, we also thought it was a good idea to make some new mates closer to home. Plus they’re also about to have babies so we can hang out (once this is all over…) without being embarrassed by our screaming infant and getting our tits out. It’s like the married equivalent of getting Tindr™.
In the current situation this was a good call, as all our Real Live Friends are now both socially distant AND physically distant. Is it right to describe this as a “Situation”? I don’t know. We’re in week eight (I think) words are losing all meaning.
When I spoke to a Real Live Friend about this, they perceptively described it as the 3rd and final major opportunity to massively increase your social circle. After school and uni/jobs.
Perhaps I shouldn’t put too much stock in this observation, as this is the mate who, when I asked them what they’d want for their stag do, replied with going to a beach and digging a massive hole.
NO, I’M NOT OBSESSED.
“The One Where Our House is Not Child Safe”
This is a bit of a nothing episode really, entertaining but without any huge developments. Maybe that’s what we need after the all the real life drama!
The most extreme thing is probably Phoebe pretending to be a cop after finding a lost badge. I’d hate to imagine her now, running in to parks to stop people sunbathing, snitching on people being visited by their mum, standing outside the supermarket measuring people’s distance.
The rest is split between Ross buying a sofa (anyone who’s even heard of Friends™ will know the word that comes to mind there…) and Joey realising he’s craving intimacy after dreaming he’s taken Chandler’s place in the relationship with Monica.
Hrrm, wonder which of those two I relate to more? Struggling to move furniture or dreaming about fancying your friends? Gosh, it’s amazing how much has changed in the last decade. Nowadays I hardly ever move furniture.
Of all the Friends™ memes, “PIVOT” is the one that’s entered everyday lexicon the most. Amongst my friends and family you can’t move ANYTHING without someone saying it. But I forgot how stupidly David Schwimmer actually says it. Seriously, watch it again, it’s quite the delivery! And now it’s stuck in our collective memory, like a sofa in a stairwell. Pretty impressive for one word said just seven times!!
I feel for Joey struggling to find love, but at least he can go out and look for it! Hitting on Rachel as his first port of call seems like a wasted opportunity.
Don’t worry Joey, I’m sure you’ll find someone. Just not Rachel. God, that would be stupid.
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
Part of our NCT’ing involves “child-proofing” the house.
This doesn’t mean, as I was hoping, finding ways to stop children getting in. “Quick, board up the catflap!” But rather, going round the house to identify, be aware of, and hopefully fix any way an idiotic child could harm themselves.
It seems we’ve got a long way to go in this respect. Idly cleaning my teeth on day gabillion of lockdown, I noticed a bottle of mouthwash on the side and thought I’d treat myself.
Failing to notice it wasn’t your regular bottle, but rather an old bottle of antiseptic mouthwash for the treatment of gum disease.
I have no idea how this even got in our house, but it seems Coronavirus isn’t the only thing that leaves people with no sense of taste.