Torn To Ribbons

5.5 - “The One Where I Watch The One With the Kips”

30/11/2019

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We’ve recovered from the trauma of “seat-gate”.

But, after an abundance of leftover Halloween™ chocolate, it still isn’t safe to sit anywhere in the house without looking first.

Strangely Chandler’s got the same problem.

But there’s no time to dwell on that with all the Friends™ drama around!

“The One Without Christmas”

The cat’s finally out the bag and Joey knows about Mondler.

I’m surprised no-one worked it out sooner. There’s a lot of suspicious behaviour, and with Monica and Joey going on a trip together… hrrm where have I seen this before?

Ok, I can’t talk; it was several months before I found out about Chandler and Joey Number 1’s tryst. It seems so long ago now.

It’s funny that the dumbest character works things out first, even if it makes everyone else seem stupid by comparison. Especially when Phoebe and Rachel aren’t remotely suspicious of Chandler and Monica bundling Joey into a room after he starts screaming. My wife get’s suspicious of me when she thinks I’m spending too long in the toilet.

“That’s cause I know you’re on your phone…”

Hey, stop reading over my shoulder! Or I’ll take this laptop to the bathroom.

Like a lot of us, Chonica’s first trip alone together is a little stressful. They get in their first fight after it’s ruined by each of their feebles. Monica demands a clean room, and Chandler gets distracted by the TV. Pfft, this is so unrealistic. I would never get upset by mess or distracted by a screen …

Hang on, THIS IS CLEARLY THE SAME ROOM EACH TIME. Given they’ve just spared no expense on three episodes in London you’d think the producers would put out for two hotel room sets. Maybe the cast have had a payrise? Oh wow, yes. At this point they’re getting $100,000 an episode. EACH. That’s four times their season one pay! Maybe I need to up my career game?

I could always go on the Apprentice™ (lol, no). Joey works it out after both Chandler and Monica claim to have seen a pre-Apprentice Donald Trump waiting for an elevator. Shame they didn’t push him down the shaft.
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(Strange to think just a year later he’ll be running for President)

Even as Joey’s getting dumber, he’s showing a knack for the sort of smart-brained dumbness that Trump espouses. With things coming to a head over Emily demanding Ross give up Rachel, the gang once again find themselves locked in a bedroom, listening in. And this time Joey prepared snacks.
Why are they all always together when the big moments play out? Is it just because they hang out way more than me and my mates?? Is it me that’s unusual or the Friends™?

I remember we always used to wonder what would happen if some of us broke up. Mercifully we’ve never had many “Kips”. Though I wonder if that’s only because there’s been less break-ups… God that’s a terrifying thought, at any point we could lose someone forever in a messy break-up. Closest we’ve come on the break up front is Chandler and Joey and they are probably the most absent, although that’s through work rather than any emotional fallout.

Hrrm, I don’t envy Ross or Rachel. I wonder what I would do in this situation? Ross’s decision seems a lot harder when you consider how it would affect Rachel’s friendships too.

What would I do? Probably just move to England, mate.
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Real Live Sitcom Moment:

As Christmas approaches, my ever-keen wife is determined to bagsie a good tree this year.

Her and her mother set aside their traditional “Christmas Tree Day” to pick out a good one.

But it turns out they were a little too keen. When they arrived at the garden centre there were no trees there! Just a solitary attendant telling them to “come back in a few weeks.”

Think we’ve finally got proof it is possible to love Christmas™ TOO much.
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    One mans quest to watch all of the classic 90s sit-com Friends™ in real time over ten years.

    Mostly updated every other Sunday.

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    The One Where You Donate to Share the Friends™ Love
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