Yep, that wasn’t some tortured metaphor, Storm Dennis literally blew a gaping hole in our fence. The second of three major storms within a month. And as usual, the second one in the trilogy proved to be the most potent.
Maybe the current (rather lacklustre) storm (1.5 stars) could redo the damage if the fence had been fixed in time? We’ll never know. I suspect not, as we all know, the third one is always the worst.
I’ve already spoke to several companies about getting it fixed. And was ready to go with what I considered the best option. But the second I confirmed the date THEY suggested they disappeared! Like Keyser Soze in reverse.
I wouldn’t mind being ghosted, but it seems a little more offensive when it’s being done by a fencing company instead someone you actually fancy. I just want a fence! I wasn’t trying to slip one inside him.
I'm starting to think I may as well do it myself! I wouldn’t have minded if they simply weren’t free anymore. But now I look completely stupid because I insisted we go for these guys over my wife’s (slightly cheaper) pick because they “seemed more professional”.
Ah well, at least it makes it easier to go to the shops.
“The One Where It’s the Start of a New Decade”
Like most things at the moment I’m still behind Friends™ too. Really won’t be surprised if our baby’s late if they’re anything like me.
The Friends™ are doing new years and heading into 1999. Not quite the EXCITEMENT of a new decade that we all feel. Right? Ok, maybe not. Seeing the lack of excitement, it’s hard to belief we’re the generation who watched our parents lose their shit over the millennium bug.
The Friends™ are a lot more excited about New Years. All getting into the spirit of things with typically ridiculous resolutions. Chandler not making mean jokes, Monica taking more pictures, Phoebe stealing a plane.
Strangely out of those three Monica’s seems the most outlandish. You’d be hard-pressed today to find someone wanting to take LESS selfies.
Seeing how far behind with things I am I reckon I’d struggle with Ross’s the most. Do one new thing every day. EVERY DAY. God Ross, I know you’ve got a lot of time on your hands with the divorce and job-loss, but take it easy, dude. Last time I tried something new I ended up getting punched in the face by my wife’s brother.
Like most of us, Ross’s resolution fails pretty quick after the infamous incident with the leather trousers.
And Rachel finds out about Chanica too! Alas, we’ll have to wait till next time to see how that turns out, as her resolution is to no longer gossip…
It all adds up to a pretty classic episode. Not bad for number eleven!
I always said at the start I expected my friendships to be more flexible than the cliquey Friends™. Fortunately I’ve done a lot better at holding onto people than I thought! Even managing to meet up on occasion with the people I love who don’t easily fit into one of my social circles.
Looking at my list of people “lucky” enough to have been given a character, I’ve only lost a couple.
I haven’t seen my Phoebe Number 2 since leaving my old job. Perhaps giving them a character was a little ambitious given I only ever saw them at work? But still, we got on very well, and I do sometimes think of trying to get in touch again.
Less of a loss is Chandler Number 4. An old Real Live Friend who only briefly returned to sleep with my sister. I’m sure I’d enjoy a catch up, just next time not when I come downstairs to have breakfast, only to find he’s been up all night with my sister.
But this is the biggie...
Joey Number 1.
Since being a very BAD Joey and getting an exciting high profile job they’ve completely slipped off the radar.
We’re all sure they’re doing well, but it would be nice if they came to just one social event. Come to think of it, I can’t even remember the last time I spoke with them, it might even be over a year! Oh, Joey –oh, Joey, oh, where for art thou? Joey, oh…
This is not good. With all the Friends™ making resolutions, I’ll have to try and make an effort to arrange a catch up. I mean, I’d do it anyway.
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
If my real life was a sitcom, this would be a bit of a sentimental episode. We’ve been putting together the baby’s room. We got a painter in (no ghosting from them…) stuck up stickers, made the cot, but when it came to the chest of drawers I insisted I did it myself.
Not out of any toxic masculinity, I just thought it would be nice to give my wife a break. Or, that’s what I pretended, really I just wanted to listen to my own music.
I thought I had a good handle on it (no pun intended) until I was about to have a tea break and realised I’d put on every single one of the brackets for the shelves an inch too close to the edge. Personally, I consider it a design flaw that it was possible to do this, but had to take responsibility when my wife asked how it was going.
“Well, you know how an hour ago I’d done steps 1 and 2? Now I’ve done step 3! But I have to do steps 1 and 2 again.”
Maybe I shouldn’t try and fix the fence myself?