The end of the year, the end of the decade, the end of my twenties.

The end of Ross’s second marriage. Don’t worry Ross, I still love you!

With the holidays here there’s plenty of time to take stock. And to ponder the big questions like “has anyone ever successfully finished a pot of potato salad?” and “why do we need clean plates to smell of lemon?”

And yet I haven’t found time to have a haircut, and am currently looking a lot like Ross, dishevelled and homeless.

I did try to squeeze it in between running errands for my wife (and catching up on a year’s worth of missed TV). But everyone else had the same idea! After half an hour of waiting, a boy (who I was certain had already had their haircut) was called to the chair and I had to leave to make it to my parents on time. Honestly, has no-one told the lad this is the time of year for giving to people in greater need than yourself?

There’s always next decade…

Ross isn’t the only one in need of a place to stay. My cousin has moved into mums.

Honestly, she’s only just got shot of her final child, and another one shows up. It’s like she’s got a one-out one-in policy.

I don’t know if it’s heartening seeing people our age have always had difficulties finding places to live, or deeply depressing that things still haven’t got sorted out.

It could be worse. At least my cousin isn’t a “Big Tap-dancing Pimp”

“The One Where I Have a Little Holiday Part 1”

Oh great. Not one week away from work and Friends™ has reminded me of all the new health and safety regulations we’ve got in place. Phoebe’s dating a restaurant inspector, and he is mad with power!

Much like boss, who’s enforcing all these new procedures, including BEARD NETS for production staff. Beard. Nets.

We thought we'd have a bit of fun with it at the office Christmas party. It was a pickle making class and one of the boys brought along a couple of beard nets. We put them on and stood waiting for boss to notice and hilarity to ensue.

I think the pickling was almost done by the time he clocked we were even wearing them…

Phoebe is not alone in feeling the need for a Christmas™ fling.

Not me! Honestly, wife, if you’re reading, There's no need to worry! It’s Rachel who’s on the prowl. Or rather playing games to try and snare the Yeti on the floor below. God I’m glad I’m not dating anymore.

She’s got this confusing tactic where she isn’t going to his party on purpose? Or thinks he isn’t inviting her because he likes her? If people not inviting you places means they like you people must love me!

Nowadays I get messaged more often by Facebook™ telling me about some “Friendversary” than by my actual friends.

Real Live Sitcom Moment:

That’s not to say we don’t still meet up every now and then.

We went out for Christmas™ lunch to catch up with Chandler Number 1, back from “Yemen” for the holidays. They’re doing well, aside from briefly getting stranded in the desert for 2 hours. Every time they come back they seem to have a story more befitting a feature film than a sitcom!

But what made me laugh was hearing about Monica’s Number 2’s dad who it turns out has a vast bear collection.

I assume Monica meant toy bears, and not that their dad is having a mid-life conversion to kinky gay love.

To be fair the latter would be much less embarrassing.

Winter is upon us. And what better way to celebrate than by giving an old man with a beard the sack.

Yep, THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN (well a third of them) and it looks like Jeremy Corbyn’s days are numbered.

I’m pretty politicked out, and in the spirit of Friends™ won’t turn this into a big sad/angry rant. I think it’s pretty clear we still need a good hard look at the way our political system does or does not work. (Particularly regarding campaign rules on spending and dishonesty, and how more than half of voters can support a second referendum but not get one).

But it certainly won’t have happened by the time I’ve finished watching Friends™.

One thing I will say is I think J-Corbz (Britain’s very own “Mr Heckles”) did pretty well considering. I always said the main point of having such a leader was to move the narrative back to the centre and away from Austerity. With that seemingly achieved, Labour can move to take the centre ground next time. With someone fresh and slick like Chuka Umu… oh balls.

“The One Where I Don’t Talk Politics”

Speaking of blonde dudes who have issues with women (sorry), Gunther is being particularly creepy this week. He buys all the furniture Ross is getting rid of because it’s been contaminated by Rachel.

This is one of many throwaway gags about him which become a little more disturbing when you read into them. As long as he doesn’t start dressing like Ross and following Rachel home I think we should be ok…

It’s just a silly little joke really. With all the serious Ross stuff, and Mondler, it’s been quite a while since anything silly and “sit-com” has happened. Hell, it’s been two whole years since Ugly Naked Guy was last in the show! And yet as I get older I’m increasingly seeing an ugly naked guy when I look in the mirror.

It seems the silliness is bouncing back! Monica and Rachel mistake a fine young man for a yeti and bug bomb him and Phoebe’s grappling with inheriting a fur coat.

It reminds me of the time some mates of mine accidentally won a huge tub of Foie Gras in a meat raffle. What do you do in that situation? We reasoned we weren’t actually supporting its production (as it was free) so decided to eat it.

I started to feel a little guilty after the third time I went round only to have yet more of it rammed down my throat. I know how those little chicks and ducks feel.

The silliness is a nice counterpoint to Emily’s behaviour becoming more abusive. It’s clear the writers are turning her into the bad guy to keep things cushty with Ross. If the Rachel thing was a little dodgy forcing him to sell all his furniture and move far out of town is definitely not right. We’ve all already seen how hard being forced out the city can make keeping in touch with your mates.

It’s nice that Joey is the one standing up for Ross first. In all his silliness and selfishness it’s easy to forget he’s probably the best Friend™ when it comes to loyalty. Ross makes some good points about marriage being about compromise. But there is a limit. Thankfully his mates are there to remind him where it is.

Still it must be hard being the first of your friends to be married. Not once but twice…

Real Live Sitcom Moment:

I got to spend some time with my Real Live Ross Number 1 this week, himself the first of us all to get married.

I had a spare ticket to go see Devin Townsend, after my wife managed to get us tickets for my birthday and then conveniently forgot to put the date in her diary. It’s probably for the best. Ross definitely got more out of seeing a 47 year old prog-metaller than she would have.

It was a great show, if a little complicated by Ross bringing along an old saucepan for me as a gift. The poor cloakroom attendant didn’t know what to make of it.

I reckon Devin would have a got a kick out of it. Especially considering the extended drum solo section where he held up kitchen implements for the drummer to hit.

Yerh, my wife made the right decision.