Well, I needn’t have worried about missing Dr Phalange’s wedding because of the birth, as now nobody can make it.
The Netflix™ generation has reached our final evolution, and must now stay indoors for the foreseeable future.
The Netflix™ generation has reached our final evolution, and must now stay indoors for the foreseeable future.
And I am cursed to chronicle this global pandemic, as it reaches Britain’s shores, through the lens of Friends™. Like Samuel Pepys if he liked Christopher Marlowe a bit too much.
“The One With the Lockdown”
We’ve known it was coming for weeks, and yet we’ve stood (along with the government) doing very little. It’s hard to blame the government; successive waves of new viruses have failed to reach their potential. Threatening us from afar and fizzling out before anything comes of it. Like the prospect of a Friends™ reunion.
I too, thought it would never make its way over here in any substantial fashion. Even when it reached Europe it seemed it would remain a continental concern. Like clogs, French poetry, and the idea of establishing a broader union based on mutual respect and free trade.
I only started to get worried when Dr Phalange herself took me to task for a flippant Facebook™ status. Maybe this WAS gona be a big deal?
But we “kept calm and carried on”. I was told to work from home; it suited me fine. I’d save a bomb on travel, and had to help out with my wife’s company’s kids’ show this week. The show must go on.
And so, after a weekend setting up in the theatre, the kids arrived for their first dress rehearsal, and within ten minutes it was all over. They’d “got the science wrong” and needed to close everything immediately. The kids were sent home, my pregnant wife was devastated, losing her job, and all she’d worked at for ten months in one go. And she had to let down a room full of children at peak excitement.
The children took it surprisingly well, I marvelled at their resilience, laughing and joking in the face of the tears.
But all the while I was struggling; going up and down ladders had seemed a bit harder than usual. Was the theatre colder than normal? Why are these lights so hot?
By the time we got to the car, I knew I had to take action, after hours of denial I had to listen to the voices in my head; like Boris Johnson finally realising the British people were NOT sick of experts, but actually sick of something else.
I had to let my wife down, in her biggest hour of need, seven months pregnant, having the worst day of her life, losing her job AND becoming Ross Number 3.
And now I had to tell her: “I think you should stay at your mum’s for a few days, I can’t be with you right now, the risk to you and the baby is too great, I can’t go to my parents, they’re too old. The guidance is clear. Fever = Isolation.”
So, here we are. Just me, myself and I.
“The One With the Lockdown”
We’ve known it was coming for weeks, and yet we’ve stood (along with the government) doing very little. It’s hard to blame the government; successive waves of new viruses have failed to reach their potential. Threatening us from afar and fizzling out before anything comes of it. Like the prospect of a Friends™ reunion.
I too, thought it would never make its way over here in any substantial fashion. Even when it reached Europe it seemed it would remain a continental concern. Like clogs, French poetry, and the idea of establishing a broader union based on mutual respect and free trade.
I only started to get worried when Dr Phalange herself took me to task for a flippant Facebook™ status. Maybe this WAS gona be a big deal?
But we “kept calm and carried on”. I was told to work from home; it suited me fine. I’d save a bomb on travel, and had to help out with my wife’s company’s kids’ show this week. The show must go on.
And so, after a weekend setting up in the theatre, the kids arrived for their first dress rehearsal, and within ten minutes it was all over. They’d “got the science wrong” and needed to close everything immediately. The kids were sent home, my pregnant wife was devastated, losing her job, and all she’d worked at for ten months in one go. And she had to let down a room full of children at peak excitement.
The children took it surprisingly well, I marvelled at their resilience, laughing and joking in the face of the tears.
But all the while I was struggling; going up and down ladders had seemed a bit harder than usual. Was the theatre colder than normal? Why are these lights so hot?
By the time we got to the car, I knew I had to take action, after hours of denial I had to listen to the voices in my head; like Boris Johnson finally realising the British people were NOT sick of experts, but actually sick of something else.
I had to let my wife down, in her biggest hour of need, seven months pregnant, having the worst day of her life, losing her job AND becoming Ross Number 3.
And now I had to tell her: “I think you should stay at your mum’s for a few days, I can’t be with you right now, the risk to you and the baby is too great, I can’t go to my parents, they’re too old. The guidance is clear. Fever = Isolation.”
So, here we are. Just me, myself and I.
We’re all trapped with ourselves now. In my case, fatigued to shit, sweating in my sleep, aching all over.
OOOO, Joey’s got a manbag! Ha Ha Ha. Eh, it’s just a bag.
“We’re just not sure the world is ready for your bag…”
Well, hey 20 years later it’s all dandy! Usually I’d take comfort in that…
I want to be with my wife, not here watching Friends™. But I can’t live with her, even as I feel I can’t live without her. Hey… someone should write a song about that.
And now Phoebe’s reuniting with her long lost father, and, and this is all a bit much.
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
…
OOOO, Joey’s got a manbag! Ha Ha Ha. Eh, it’s just a bag.
“We’re just not sure the world is ready for your bag…”
Well, hey 20 years later it’s all dandy! Usually I’d take comfort in that…
I want to be with my wife, not here watching Friends™. But I can’t live with her, even as I feel I can’t live without her. Hey… someone should write a song about that.
And now Phoebe’s reuniting with her long lost father, and, and this is all a bit much.
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
…
