It’s the perfect number for a little gathering really, keeps things moving without anyone having to take the lead too much. And gave us a good excuse to see some people again without it overwhelming my heavily pregnant wife. Or setting me off into a spiral of agoraphobia and social anxiety.
So Ross, Rachel, David the Science Guy, and Mrs David the Science Guy came round for a much needed chat.
After all the Zooming, it was great to see they still have bodies as well as faces! And we were able to fully enjoy the British summer. Sitting two meters apart in my garden under golfing umbrellas, discussing whether an umbrella acting as a lightning rod would be more or less deadly than Covid-19.
“The One Where I Try to Help”
Fittingly, the bulk of this episode is the Friends™ sitting in an apartment watching TV.
Joey’s landed a part on Law and Order™, which, as Phoebe points out, should actually be “Order and Law”. #RachelAndRossNotRossAndRachel
Joey’s grandma seems to have survived the wave of Covid that’s swept the Earth, so she’s round to watch the episode too. Don’t worry; I’m making her sit outside under one of the umbrellas. Not cause of Covid, I just don’t want to talk to anyone I don’t know.
Is this the first time a grandparent’s been in the show? That’s alive anyway. I remember Monica and Ross’s grandma. The first time the show suggested it could do more than just comedy.
Phoebe’s grandma has featured before too. I’d completely forgotten about that!
I even missed her funeral!! It was only two months ago, when I was a little caught up in my own problems… I am a bad Friend™
Deciding to have a kid has already impacted our ability to see friends and family. Yep, that’s the only reason we’re feeling isolated... And here we are at nine months, as Chandler and Monica celebrate their ten month anniversary! Bit of an odd anniversary to celebrate, but OK. Has it really been that long? Good on you guys, I hope you’ve been enjoying all those private moments between the panels.
They seem pretty secure. Monica doesn’t give a fig that Chandler’s flirting with a pizza delivery woman.
Is he really flirting? I said not, but my wife says yes. Given I’ve barely seen anyone for three months I’d probably consider eye contact flirting at this point. God I’ve missed talking to other people.
But, in a way, if I’ve managed to miss people like Ross it’s worth it. God he’s the worst. That poor pizza lady’s just trying to do her job without being creeped on!
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
With all that’s going on I decided to try and do something to help!
A month back I saw they’re doing a trial to see if blood plasma from people with Covid antibodies can help those afflicted. “Hey, I’ve got those!” I thought. I’ve got antibodies, uncle-bodies, you name it. Step right up!
I was ready to help out, and most importantly finally had an excuse to go somewhere other than my house! Unfortunately that place was Luton.
But I got there, they were very nice and ran me through all the questions they needed to ask, the risks to me, and how much I was a God damn hero that was gonna save us all. Ok, Ok. I might have imagined the last part.
They hooked me up to the machine, and we laughed and joked as I gradually had a small amount of blood removed, separated into its constituent parts, and some of them returned to me. “This is super cool” I thought.
I was wrong.
Halfway through the procedure I settled down to play some Love Island: The Game™. The second my thumb touched the phone I felt a little faint. Was this just Levi making me swoon after all that grafting? No. No, it was not. The nurses swung into action, reclining my chair, getting me some water, all that great caring stuff we’re clapping for every week. But I didn’t seem to be feeling much better.
After a while the decision was taken to stop the procedure. I was still conscious but shivering with a heavy feeling in my chest, and a little metallic taste in my mouth. This suggested a bad reaction to the anti-coagulant, a common response with no cause for concern, but it meant I’d be sitting in the chair for a few hours more than I expected.
“Oh God” I thought “what if my wife goes into labour?!” and I’m here, unable to drive. And worst of all, in Luton.
Things hadn’t been helped by me eating only a pack of ccrisps for lunch… Of all the days to return to my pre-lockdown eating habits. OBVIOUSLY having blood taken without a big lunch would cause a problem. IDIOT. IDIOT. IDIOT.
I’m not going to lie, spending three hours uncontrollably shivering and shaking was pretty scary. If not as scary as thinking what my wife would say if she DID go into labour.
But it’s not often your body let’s you down like that. Ever since getting Corona I’ve been acting like I’m invincible, and this was a pretty horrible reminder that I’m not. Timed perfectly to match my 31st birthday.
That’s the last time I ever try to do something nice.