Torn To Ribbons
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3.17 - “The One Where I Watch The One Without the Ski Trip”

6/5/2018

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Hrrm, “The One Without”… That's new. It's always been "The One With" until now.

Perhaps it's some clever summation of the sense of loss permeating the episode...

Am I starting to over-analyse this thing???

 “The One With the Ill-advised Haircut”

Who gets to keep who when the s**t hits the fan?

It’s a thought that occasionally crosses my mind as I sit with my fiancée and our cats. How would we split them if we were ever to break up? One each? She’d get both? Down the middle?

And friends too. Years ago when friendships were new it was easy to split them, in hypothetical convos over what to do if couples broke up. You instinctively knew, like making a wedding guest list. But as you get older, there’s more history, relationships spanning years, friendships crossing one half of a relationship to the other. And things get a lot harder. Like making a wedding seating plan.

I suppose that’s why we never bothered in my Real Live Friend group. Both the couples at the center of our last two break-ups, including Monica Number 2, and Chandler Number 2 and Joey Number 1, remain friends with all of us. (If not quite with their partners anymore #SadFace).

It’s enough to drive anyone to smoke, and Chandler has succumbed as Rachel and Ross remind him of his parents divorce. This is the first real hint we’ve had that Chandlers childhood was a lot harder than previously let on. Him starting smoking at nine years old is particularly disturbing, and plays a little strange given how seriously the dangers of smoking are now taken (along with him smoking inside against other characters wishes).

We’re moving in the opposite direction as my fiancée has finally also kicked the habit (congrats!). To be completely honest, I have had the odd one since stopping over three years ago. She noticed this for the first time when I got back from a Real Live Friends wedding which I’d ended with a cheeky (but disgusting) menthol.

“So THAT’s what it’s like when you kiss someone after they’ve had a cigarette!?”

Yup, welcome to my world. Though to be fair, with her recently returned sense of smell, she does now have to put up with me. We’ll call it a draw.

Rachel and Ross are at an impasse as well. The Friends™ are refusing to take sides but, with Ross unwilling to admit his mistakes (“We were on a break!”), they head off in Phoebe’s grandmas cab without him. Before running out of gas. God! Can’t the writers come up with ANY original ideas? Rather than just stealing them all from me?!

Fortunately this allows Ross to save the day and things look like they may be able to continue as usual, though we never do see any skiing. I guess “The One Without” was just a handy way to avoid a very expensive episode of television.

Hey, maybe we should go skiing?

Real Live Sitcom Moment:

I’ve been feeling pretty Zen lately. I seem to have become a lot happier just passively letting things happen to me.

Sure, there are still things I want to do but these all fall in a routine now. Playing music, going to work, seeing my partner and Real Live Friends; I’ve arrived at a place where I can just let everyone else make decisions and say yes to whatever I can fit in.

And so Friends™ has come to have this influence over my life as well.

After noticing last time that none of the characters have had 90s curtains for quite some time, I took the plunge and cut mine off, seeing it as an opportunity to relive a favourite old haircut (whilst I still can): a bleached blonde Mohawk.
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(No-one please point out that all my hair styles are apparently failed attempts to emulate David Beckham.)

This has resulted in my fiancée not even being able to look at me as I remind her too much of her ex. But the Friends™ gods demanded it! It’s like they’re forcing us to be like Rachel and Ross, unable to be in the same room together.
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    One mans quest to watch all of the classic 90s sit-com Friends™ in real time over ten years.

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