Torn To Ribbons
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3.1 - “The One Where I Watch The One with the Princess Leia Fantasy”

24/9/2017

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The past few weeks have flown by in a blur. We’ve dealt with all the boring house stuff, and tried, desperately, to save our once in a life time holiday. Top-tip: don’t book a holiday to Florida in hurricane season.

The house stuff is going OK, although I ran into some difficulty with certain aspects of it, namely, getting life insurance™.

I didn’t even want to get it initially! I was eventually sold on the idea of LIFE-TIME SECURITY… only for my application to be rejected. I’m a firm believer that honesty is the best policy, unless the policy you want is life insurance, and the question is “have you taken drugs in the last five years”. At least that’s another £20 a month in my pocket.

All these house and holiday troubles have been doubly stressful for me, for reasons I can’t quite get into.

“Tell us” I hear you cry…

“No.” I firmly reply.

I haven’t even had the time to watch Old Yeller. And, to top it all, Janice is already getting divorced to be with Chandler! So soon?!?

I’m left with an uneasy feeling of not knowing quite how much time has passed, both in Friends™ and out of it.

Can it really only be a few weeks since Season 2?

With Monica still feeling sad about Richard and Rachel asking Ross if he still has THAT Navy uniform, it must be…

 “The One Where I Try and Fulfil a Fantasy”

It’s a classic!





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Before and After





Yep, it’s the Leia Fantasy one. Ross is uneasy about telling Rachel his fantasy (rightly so, given she goes and tells everyone). I’ve never struggled to share my fantasies. I mean, I haven’t actually got any… but I would be super honest about it! Honestly!! I did once dress up as Princess Leia, but it wasn’t for sexual reasons. Well, that was what I told every else at the party anyway.

Brits do seem to be more at ease talking about sex. At least more than the Friends™ were back in the uber-conservative 90s… Perhaps it’s just a 21st Century thing?

One thing Americans are more open about is if they don’t like their mates’ partners. I can’t imagine anyone I know being as upfront as Joey is when it comes to not liking Janice. What did she ever do to him?

I’m not sure they ever mention it but I reckon he’s got some unresolved feelings for her… the guilt niggling away at the back of his mind. Like Chandler and his mother. You’d think Ross would have a bit more sympathy for Chandlers confusion, given his own attraction to Chandlers mum!

Our (thankfully, now saved) holiday to America (goodbye Florida, hello New York!) is a bit of a fantasy of my partners too.

And we’ve now got plenty of ideas of things to do over there!  From this episode alone: eating massive pancakes, and doing it on the Staten Island Ferry. Fingers crossed!

I tried to fulfil another of my partners fantasies recently too. I was off on a business trip, so before I left surprised my partner by dressing up as one of their TV crushes (hint: not Princess Leia…)

It didn’t go quite as well as I expected. It turned out, because of all the secrecy; she thought I was going to propose!

Why on earth would I have done it then when we’re about to go on a once in a lifetime holiday?

Real Live Sitcom Moment:

“You still haven’t told us why you’re stressed…”

OK, FINE.

I AM going to propose. There, I said it. As if all the talk last time about “weddings looming large” and “love being in the air” wasn’t enough of a hint.

Not that I’m stressed about proposing, I’ve got a great idea, but the ring hunt has been a little difficult. Particularly keeping it secret. I’ve done a good job of not giving the game away for my partner. But around 90% of my Real Live Friends now seem to know. (Including people I haven’t told myself, suspiciously…)

I started off trying to get Rachel Number 1 and David the Science Guy to help me, but we never managed to get past an excitable Facebook™ conversation. Rachel Number 1s most helpful contribution was pointing out it was like when Phoebe helps Chandler look for a ring. Which unfortunately is many years away… #Spoilers

David the Science Guy was much more useful, pointing me to where he’d bought his ring. After a quick browse online I thought I’d settled on the perfect one.

“What about this one?” I said.

“You can’t have that one.”

“Why not? It’s my favourite!”

“Because it’s the one I got for my fiancé.”

Oh well, I’m sure I’ll find something…
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    One mans quest to watch all of the classic 90s sit-com Friends™ in real time over ten years.

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