I still haven’t spoken to my sister. Ok, OK, I will! It’s just I’ve barely seen her. Or, indeed, ANY of my family. Even living with them we can’t seem to end up in the same room together.
A while back I tried to arrange a get together for my birthday and it ended up being just me, Janice and my mum. A top way to celebrate my last birthday before married life…
As my Stag gets closer I’m getting more and more worried about dying. Am I too old for a whole weekend of drinking? Who will survive longest? Me on my stag, or Monica on her Roller Skates?
“The One With Background Boobs”
Janice still hates my pre-wedding midlife crisis hair. Perhaps I should make like Chandler and get my goatee back??
I’ve noticed a weird trend here, every-time Monica goes out with someone with facial hair, Chandler copies them. Is this a joke about Chandler’s insecurity over his masculinity? Or hinting at something more…
Whatever Chandler’s reasons, Monica is finally succumbing to Creepy Pete’s advances. Definitely nothing to do with him buying her a restaurant, and everything to do with him forcefully kissing her minutes after she told him she never wanted to see him again. #Problematic
Unsurprisingly, T.O.W.T.C.A.T.D was written by a man. I did a double take when I saw they were called Chris Brown, but it turns out it’s not that one. Most likely because he was only 8 at the time.
The toxic masculinity continues, with Jennifer Aniston just about managing to sell Rachel finding Ross endearing, even as he decries his “right” to imagine her naked against her will. As someone who’s about to get married I can categorically state that I never ever think about any of my ex’s naked.
But there were copious boobs on display at David the Science Guys weddings. (Unlike at my stag where I’ve enacted a strict “No Strippers” policy #VirtueSignalling). This was largely the result of Ross Number 3 breast feeding. Although I took my top off regularly too. Wouldn’t want her to feel exposed!
I managed to undercut any awkwardness over the breast feeding by pointing out I’d seen her boobs before. To her amusement, but less to her husbands… Turns out all I had to do to make the same point as Ross, but without it being weird, was to not imply that I fantasise about her for sexual gratification. Who’d have thought it!?
I’m pretty proud of how well I dealt with sharing a house with a baby. Especially considering I was hung-over for most of the weekend. It’s strange growing up and realising how many times my uncles must have been hung-over during my formative experiences.
It must be pretty daunting, too, being the first couple to bring a baby into the group, but it seemed like the most natural thing in the world having him there. And, unlike in Friends™, everyone was cool with the breastfeeding. It’s hard to imagine Joey being normal around a breastfeeding mother, when he can’t even see Monica fall over onto Rachel without getting a stiffy.
A while back I tried to arrange a get together for my birthday and it ended up being just me, Janice and my mum. A top way to celebrate my last birthday before married life…
As my Stag gets closer I’m getting more and more worried about dying. Am I too old for a whole weekend of drinking? Who will survive longest? Me on my stag, or Monica on her Roller Skates?
“The One With Background Boobs”
Janice still hates my pre-wedding midlife crisis hair. Perhaps I should make like Chandler and get my goatee back??
I’ve noticed a weird trend here, every-time Monica goes out with someone with facial hair, Chandler copies them. Is this a joke about Chandler’s insecurity over his masculinity? Or hinting at something more…
Whatever Chandler’s reasons, Monica is finally succumbing to Creepy Pete’s advances. Definitely nothing to do with him buying her a restaurant, and everything to do with him forcefully kissing her minutes after she told him she never wanted to see him again. #Problematic
Unsurprisingly, T.O.W.T.C.A.T.D was written by a man. I did a double take when I saw they were called Chris Brown, but it turns out it’s not that one. Most likely because he was only 8 at the time.
The toxic masculinity continues, with Jennifer Aniston just about managing to sell Rachel finding Ross endearing, even as he decries his “right” to imagine her naked against her will. As someone who’s about to get married I can categorically state that I never ever think about any of my ex’s naked.
But there were copious boobs on display at David the Science Guys weddings. (Unlike at my stag where I’ve enacted a strict “No Strippers” policy #VirtueSignalling). This was largely the result of Ross Number 3 breast feeding. Although I took my top off regularly too. Wouldn’t want her to feel exposed!
I managed to undercut any awkwardness over the breast feeding by pointing out I’d seen her boobs before. To her amusement, but less to her husbands… Turns out all I had to do to make the same point as Ross, but without it being weird, was to not imply that I fantasise about her for sexual gratification. Who’d have thought it!?
I’m pretty proud of how well I dealt with sharing a house with a baby. Especially considering I was hung-over for most of the weekend. It’s strange growing up and realising how many times my uncles must have been hung-over during my formative experiences.
It must be pretty daunting, too, being the first couple to bring a baby into the group, but it seemed like the most natural thing in the world having him there. And, unlike in Friends™, everyone was cool with the breastfeeding. It’s hard to imagine Joey being normal around a breastfeeding mother, when he can’t even see Monica fall over onto Rachel without getting a stiffy.
I won several “daddy” points for watching the baby on the sofa whilst Ross Number 3 was getting ready. But all these were lost the night of the wedding, after Ross Number 3 found me and Chandler Number 2 passed out on the very same sofa at two in the morning.
Maybe I’m not quite ready for fatherhood…
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
I may not be ready, but Chandler and Joey are taking a step towards fatherhood by getting a pet. A chick, and later, a duck.
Once again the show copies my life!
Maybe I’m not quite ready for fatherhood…
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
I may not be ready, but Chandler and Joey are taking a step towards fatherhood by getting a pet. A chick, and later, a duck.
Once again the show copies my life!
My Mum’s kept chickens for several years now, and the last surviving one (natural causes, not my cats) has just taken advantage of the heat and snuck in the kitchen through an open door.
Watching Chandler coo-ing over his chick reminds me of Janice telling me she caught my dad singing to our cats. God I wish I’d seen that…
He’s having a bit of a rough time lately. I asked if I could have his bike, saying he was too old to use it now anyway, and he ended up spending loads of money on a brand new one with lots of fancy equipment.
Inevitably, I came home from the wedding to find him laid up in a chair with a swollen ankle and scabby knees. On the one hand I feel pretty vindicated, but also a little bad that I essentially bullied my dad into a cycling accident.
Watching Chandler coo-ing over his chick reminds me of Janice telling me she caught my dad singing to our cats. God I wish I’d seen that…
He’s having a bit of a rough time lately. I asked if I could have his bike, saying he was too old to use it now anyway, and he ended up spending loads of money on a brand new one with lots of fancy equipment.
Inevitably, I came home from the wedding to find him laid up in a chair with a swollen ankle and scabby knees. On the one hand I feel pretty vindicated, but also a little bad that I essentially bullied my dad into a cycling accident.
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