She, mostly, cleans the litter tray and in exchange I try not to complain about the amount of food in the sink and deal with the resulting slugs. But my cat troubles continue: only this morning he smashed his food bowl, a while ago he jumped up and scratched my penis, and worst of all a few days ago he broke my phone!
As a result my notes on this week’s episode are currently lost to me, so I'll be attempting to complete this using a mixture of my memory and Wikipedia™.
“The One Where I Try and Remember Things”
I have a terrible memory. Last week I rather flippantly mentioned my “budding dependence on alcohol and kebabs.” But the truth is I’ve had a complicated relationship with alcohol since I went to university. (Not so with kebabs where it’s a very simple relationship along the lines of: “I want you, I’ve eaten you. Yum.”)
I’ve never been a full on alcoholic but, as with many students, I found myself drinking regularly (and increasingly heavily) during my studies. This was not helped by taking five years to graduate, and I developed a love/hate relationship with drink once I realised over four years I hadn’t had more than three days sober in a row - and that this probably wasn’t a good idea.
I’ve had several attempts to deal with this in recent years – usually taking the form of stopping for a month to see if I can, achieving my goal (mostly) and then returning to drinking after being relieved I’m not actually addicted. Which is fine, until I reach the point of drinking almost every day again and then it starts over.
As you would expect, I’ve had noticeable deterioration in my health and memory as a result, and was heavily contemplating stopping completely from the age of 25 – 35. Until I decided to watch all of Friends™ during that time instead.
This week the Friends™ discuss the weirdest place they’ve had sex. Fortunately I can’t recall my own so I won’t be sharing. Not having a great memory can have its upsides.!
But, speaking of getting naked, there's another Ugly Naked Guy joke this episode: when they see him lighting candles in his apartment. Aside from this amusing me, as it foreshadows Rachel doing the same many years later, it also made me happy because it reminded me we’ve got our own Ugly Naked Guy now!
I swear I’m not making this up.
My partner’s mother was round and our door was open to let the cats come and go. The back of our house looks onto another building and suddenly a naked man appeared in one of the windows! Is he reading the blog and playing a trick on me? Only time will tell...
The line between reality and Friends™ was further blurred, when we played a phone app game this week. You put a phone on your head and it goes through categories. Everyone has to describe them and the person with the phone has to guess what they are. Suffice to say, when we played the Friends™ category, me and my partner were too busy laughing at “Gum would be PERFECTION” from this episode coming up that we couldn’t continue...
As with George Stephanopolous I'm surprised to find the target of Chandler’s gum related affections (Jill Goldacre) was actually a real person! The preponderance of cameos in Friends™ is well known but I’m surprised to see they had them so early on. Maybe she knew someone at the studio?
Our confusing coincidences continue as Ross’s attempts to ask out Rachel are thwarted by an attack from a cat. It’s good to know I’m not the only one with animal trouble. On top of the cats we just visited my best Real Live Friend who's got a very cute puppy; who's yet to understand that people don’t want their trouser legs bitten.
It was good fun seeing him (as it always is). Much like Joey and Chandler we have a very special bromance where we’re able to understand one another even when talking in a way that no-one else can understand. This proved a huge annoyance for our teachers in school and also for our partners during the visit as they struggled to get a word in.
Real Life Sitcom Moment:
During Rachel’s and Phoebe’s quest to return the lost cat they encounter a new recurring guest character – Mr Heckles. This week’s Real Live Sitcom Moment comes courtesy of another grumpy old man: my father.
He’s been digitising his old CDs recently (which naturally has required a bit of help from his more technologically savvy son). He invited me round for the dinner the other day, and it turned out it only because he needed me to answer a question about the computer. He also accused me of stealing CDs – despite them being by artists I have no interest in.
We both like music, and share a love of certain bands (such as Pink Floyd), but the generation gap can make talking about it difficult, as can our faltering memories. Our conversation over dinner stuttered to a halt once he failed to remember the new singer who reminds him of Syd Barrett, and I’d assured him I do in fact know who Creedence Clearwater Revival are. Despite remembering none of their songs.
We’re not particularly good at communicating with each other in general but I think we’re both keenly aware we need to put in more effort. (Although he puts up a good front in this area - I’m still waiting for him to let me know when he’s free for a game of tennis.)
He rarely opens up or reveals much about himself but, as he was speaking about his music collection, and I was looking in his eyes (the same eyes I saw in myself last week) there was a magical moment, as the walls fell away and he revealed he's greatly been enjoying how the music has been bringing back long-forgotten memories to him.