“Well I’ve got several options... quit my job to remove temptation, embark on a clandestine affair or tell her in no uncertain terms that nothing will happen as I’m very happy with my current relationship.”
“Well the last one sounds best to me.”
“I agree but...”
“But? You’re not seriously considering cheating?”
“Of course not! It’s just...”
“Oh God, you’re going to put this in the blog aren’t you?”
“I need a cliffhanger! The timing is perfect!”
“I don’t know how your partner puts up with you...”
“The One Where My Cliffhanger Gets Me Into Hot Water”
OK, hands up who thought I was actually about to embark on an affair?
Keep your hands up if you think, if I was, I would be dumb enough to share it on the internet?
Well thanks a lot... your confidence in me (or lack of it) is noted...
I hope you enjoyed my little attempt at a cliffhanger. A public blog really isn’t the best way to let your partner know someone’s attempting to seduce you. I really put my relationship on the line for you guys!
Still, my partner finding out through the blog probably would have been preferable to what actually happened – which was her finding a rather racy Facebook™ message the young woman sent me. I’m not trying to brag here. In fact I will happily state it’s been a very long time since anyone has shown the slightest interest in me sexually. But naturally I got a little caught up in the flattery and failed to shut down the situation immediately as I should have.
This led to a rather serious conversation with my partner.
We talked about whether we’re still happy, and how we can keep each other fulfilled in our hobbies and careers, whilst making sure we still have a good time together. After we’d spoken some more about what an idiot I was and how I could make things right I started making dinner. We were sorting out making sure the time we spend together can be “quality time” and not just conversations about mortgages and children. Weirdly my body chose that moment for the floodgates to open and I started crying as I told her how much I hated what a shithole our flat was. How it ground me down coming back to all the mess after work. And how I’d showered at my parents the day before as I couldn’t stand how grim ours had got.
My partner, understandably annoyed about me making the situation about myself, started furiously scrubbing the shower. I tried to get her to stop but she’s pretty tenacious for someone so small and I was left with no other option – I had to get in the shower.
Clothes off or on? There was no time... I whipped my phone out my pocket and, as my phone landed safely on the sofa with a thud, dived into the shower.
Thankfully it was worth it and all our tears turned back to smiles as she gleefully sprayed me with water. In the face. Repeatedly.
With the crisis averted, and us both feeling a little more positive about the future again, we settled down to watch the next episode of Friends™. After a brief rub down with a towel and a change of clothes.
As my partner has recently been spending more time watching ER than visiting it she was excited to see George Clooney (and the other one) pop up. Albeit confused to see their names had changed due to the unofficial nature of the crossover... The doctors and hospital faced similar confusion as Rachel and Monica swapped names to avoid Rachel having to pay for health care. Hang on... What? They pay for healthcare!? America is a strange place.
Unfortunately for the two Friends™ this name swapping gave them ample opportunity to insult one another – ruining their chances with Clooney in the process. I wouldn’t worry Rachel... I’m sure you’ll have plenty of other opportunities to seduce A-List movie stars as the series progresses. But they struck upon an interesting point here: It is always easy for us to embarrass our friends.
Intimate knowledge gained from years of friendship gives us a tremendous amount of power over our Real Live Friends. Thanks to the internet there’s also a growing unease felt by people about how much of themselves they share. Not surprising, given some of the stuff I could tell you about my friends! (And vice versa).
But the bonds of friendship (as well as the mutually assured destruction) keep us from over-sharing. I think this is a big part of being an adult too, knowing when to share and when to keep schtum. When to remain silent and when’s the perfect time to bring out that hilarious anecdote about your friend getting their willy stuck in the refrigerator door.
As I’ve been reminded this week: it’s always easiest to hurt the people we care about the most.
This is explored in the episode as well: as, to Phoebe’s dismay, Joey’s tryst with Ursula continues. Lisa Kudrow does an excellent job, both in playing the twin characters but also in bringing out the emotion of Phoebe’s experience. Particularly in the last scene where she pretends to be Ursula to let Joey down gently and he finally comes through for her.
I’m not what you’d call a typical shipper (largely because the series ended over ten years ago) but it does almost seem a shame that nothing ever happened between Phoebe and Joey.
Back in real life, inspired by Phoebe’s party, we’ve decided to host our own little party to finish washing away our troubles. And to distract us from talk of mortgages. So come back (please) next time to see how that goes. Who knows maybe I’ll even have my own Gunther pop up in the background of our party?
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
Me temo que si usted habla español esta broma se perderá en usted... Pero no estaba poniendo el televisor a Marcel divertida español. Y la etiqueta sobrecopiada al final del episodio fue genial! Bueno aquí está mi intento de hacer lo mismo. Es la versión en Vivo Real Amigos si se quiere. O copiándome Amigos™ si no lo hará. De todos modos es mi blog y creo que el incidente de la ducha era probablemente lo suficientemente grande para mí a abandonar teniendo un Momento Sitcom Real Vivo separada por una vez. Espero que me perdonen. Ciao