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9.20 - “The One Where I Watch The One With the Soap Opera Party”

1/9/2024

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Sorry it’s been a while, I’ve been at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival! Chasing my dreams as a performer. In the hope of getting enough of a career in that area to replace my old job.

Fittingly, Joey’s hosting a big event for all of his soap opera friends. He’s tricked the others into seeing a god awful, one-woman play so he can have the run of the apartment block.
 

Key line: “Chapter 1: MY FIRST PERIOD”.

This is one of the few lines my wife and I regularly quote at each other, since before I even started following my Friends™. As we’ve both always had a side hustle in performing (I know, typical millennials…) we’re more than familiar with the “one-woman show” genre. But I’m not sure, post Fleabag™, it’s quite the punchline it used to be. 

I must confess I’m a little partial to the genre. Though was much too busy at this years festival to catch any. It seems my efforts have paid off! I’d rather be seen dead than attend one of the Edinburgh parties typical of the one hosted by Joey. But I was able to ingratiate myself enough that I’ve been offered a bit of money to start a podcast! Based on this very venture!! It turns out my AI stunt caught the attention of just the right people at the right time.

Along with the freelance writing gig I secured before heading up to the fest (plus the odd live performance), I think I’ll be making just enough to scrape by! Typical, you wait ages then two gigs come along at once!

The irony is not lost on me that I’m now moving into the career of Alternate Universe Chandler…

Don’t worry though. This won’t be turning into YET another, multiverse piece. That genre’s even more played out than the One-Woman Show.

“The One Where I’m Back in Gainful Employment”

Ross is supposed to be showing some new Professors round town and, what do you know, one of them’s hot!
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Introducing Professor Wheeler! (No, not that one). Once they get around Gunther denying all knowledge of Ross they get on like a Paleontologist and a tweed jacket. Also not sure I can really blame Gunther for denying he knows Ross at this point? There’s a fifty fifty chance I’d disown him if someone asked. And I’ve known him even longer than Gunther!

Ross and Wheeler decide to ditch their new elder colleague (harsh). And for some reason head to Monica’s flat? What is going on.

Also, everyone’s being SO rude this week. Ross and Rachel talk as if Wheeler can’t hear them. Chandler talks during the one woman show. Oh. I should say, he’s the only one who went in the end. The others got wind of Joey’s party and went to that instead. Chandler gets his “revenge” by buying three more tickets to trick Monica and Phoebe into watching the show then runs out. Again, rude.


But TBH, I’d have loved it if the people who hated MY Edinburgh show had then gone on to buy three more tickets.


It’s all kicking off at the party. Rachel’s collecting LOADS of actors phone numbers, despite now wanting to sleep with Joey after their recent roleplay… Monica’s even getting the actors to sign her tits! OK. Now I can see why Chandler might have wanted a bit of petty revenge.


But hang on, both Rachel AND Ross are at the party (with Wheeler). Are we already forgetting about their baby?


Ross is feeling insecure with Wheeler, as he finds out she only dates geniuses. If only I weren’t married… Ah, nevermind, she’d only run off with my David the Science Guy anyway.

It’s a little dumb that Ross’s immediate response to Wheeler telling him the last guy she dated was insecure, is to run off and complain about feeling inadequate compared to all the people with Nobel Prizes she used to date. Mate... She literally TOLD you that was the problem last time.

Phoebe gives him a decent pep talk. But in the end it doesn’t matter as Ross and Rachel (on the way to kiss Joey!) then stumble upon Joey kissing Wheeler!!


What the hell?! I don’t think I’ve been to a party this dramatic since my twenties. Are there no people Ross fancies who Joey won’t, ruthlessly, try and sleep with??


Real Live Sitcom Moment:


We had a little party earlier in the summer and one of my old Bosses showed up and immediately began espousing the joys of his new “Manbag”.


​Honestly, I’m not sure if these things are genuinely happening or if my mates are just trolling me at this point.
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