Siblings are difficult aren’t they? You learn so much from them growing up. How to play, how to share, how to fight. And then you grow up, and mostly put the latter into practise.
Rachel’s sister Christina Applegate is back after last Thanksgiving. And oblivious as ever. Or should I say unaware? Ignorant? Heedless?
Joey is writing a letter of recommendation to the adoption agency for Chandler and Monica. Ross showed us how to use a thesaurus to help out. So I’ve been putting that into practise… execution?
Of course. NOWADAYS, you’d probably use an AI to write it FOR you, wouldn’t you? Not like the good old days, before the robots. Droids. Androids. Automatons. Mechanoids.
Bots.
In the end Joey goes old school and gives a handwritten recommendation. Which turns out super well, when they assume it was written by a child. My kids' writing is coming along now. She’s very adept at her own name. I had no idea learning to read and write was so slow! It’s hard to think back 30 years and have an accurate (faultless, meticulous) idea of how long it took when I did it.
And look at me now. Barely using a spellchecker. REACHING into the depths of my consciousness and drawing out HIGH QUALITY Friends™ related content.
It makes me wonder what my own children will come to write. Or if they’ll even write at all?
It might just all be video blogs by then.
“The One Where I Realise I Should Have Embraced Vlogging Instead of Blogging”
Phoebe and Paul Rudd are off to the Knicks game to celebrate their anniversary. (Incidentally, very much NOT how I thought you spelt “Knicks”)
One guy shoots Phoebe an annoyed look when she asks him to remove his nachos from her seat. I don’t really get this. Like when people make a big fuss from being asked to move their bag on a train. Seats are for sitting, my dude.
Shockingly, it turns out Paul Rudd intends to propose on the big screen! But bottles it after Phoebe criticises his method. Then she reverses it at the next game and proposes to him! To a chorus of boos. Hopefully these days people wouldn’t be such pricks to a woman publicly proposing at a ball game. Though it’s hard to tell with recent American developments.
It’s crazy they’ve got engaged. Mainly because my best friend, someone else I never thought would get married, has just done the same! And, get this… They even have the same name! (Gonna say Paul Rudd to avoid giving away an actual name here). Weird.
Unlike Phoebe/Rudd they’ve been with their partner this entire time. It’s bizarre to realise that somehow, despite being my best friend, they have yet to do anything suitably “Friendsy” enough to become a Real Live Friend. It’s delightful they have finally joined the roster and achieved Paul Rudd Number 1 status.
Dare I say it, possibly becoming the final Real Live Friend in the process? Time will tell.
Anyway, back to Rachel’s sister. Much like me forgetting my Best Friend all these years, she’s forgotten who Ross is. Thinking he’s a guy who sells her falafel, and not her sister's ex-husband. She seems to have a bad track record for forgetting inconvenient acquaintances; recently becoming engaged to her ex-boyfriends dad. Is that even legal?
Her level of narcissism (self-love, vanity, egoism) somehow exceeds my own, and even extends to her forgetting the name of her niece.
Maybe she should get her memory checked out?
Or maybe she just spends too much time on social media...
What is it about younger sisters and being wrapped up in their own little world (and choosing terrible men).
I’ve recently alluded to some of my sister's difficulties these last few years. Perhaps it’s time to go into a few more specifics now she’s doing a little better?
Rachel persuades her sister to dump her unsuitable man. Which turns out to be much easier for her than my sister. After dealing very poorly with the pandemic, she had a psychotic break, leaving her experience of life, shall we say, a little out of sync with the rest of us. As you can imagine, this was very difficult for the whole family. And went much further than thinking one of us had once sold her falafel.
I hope you’ll forgive me for not addressing this while it was ongoing. To be honest, it was none of your business. Though rest assured, if I’d come to watch “The One Where Joey Accuses Everyone of Being Peadophiles” I’d have been the first to mention it.
Mercifully we (eventually) were able to get her the help she needed and, as I’ve mentioned, she’s doing a lot better. Having some contact with the kids again, and catching up on lost time.
But her recovery was severely hampered by a parasitic man who weaseled his way into her life (and flat), despite being fully aware of her mental health difficulties, and refused to leave for around a year. Even as they broke up, and their relationship became increasingly toxic, he would not leave, and became increasingly unpleasant before she finally managed to get rid of him.
It’s a great relief he’s gone. But it’s an experience that has changed all of us.
Still, it could have been worse. She could’ve got my kids ears pierced whilst babysitting!
It’s funny I’ve been talking a lot about how little babysitting Rachel and Ross get. And now we have Christina Applegate babysitting Ella! (Sorry: “Emma”). AND piercing her ears without the parents consent.
From a purely selfish parenting perspective, it’s frustrating we haven’t been able to use my sister for babysitting. Not least because, having formerly worked in schools, she’s actually great with kids!
But the nature of her condition, sadly, means there’s a huge amount of trust to be rebuilt.
It also has massive ramifications (consequences, implications…) for our past relationship. I’ve had to completely re-analyse her claims regarding our secret half-brother. (Remember that??) Looking back I realise my entire experience of it only came through things she told me.
Did it really happen? Was this part of some earlier fantasy we were unaware of?
After several years, I’m now leaning more towards the latter. But am I perhaps taking the easier option? Why can’t I simply ask my parents? Because you don’t rock the boat. It’s rule number one in our family. And, surely, they’ve suffered enough the past few years?
For a long time, I’ve put the needs of the rest of them beyond my own need to know (and express) the truth. Whenever my thoughts turn back to it, I find myself thinking more philosophically. Does it really matter? Why always obsess over what’s truth and what’s fiction? Practically it makes no difference to me, one way or the other. You may wonder how I can cope with not knowing for certain. But the older I get, the more I feel like the question itself was more interesting than what may have come from asking it.
Question everything you know. But not too much. Lest you become my sister…
How can something that felt so major half a decade ago, now feel so small when put up against keeping my family together?
I’m sorry if this is unsatisfying. Sometimes life is like that, questions with no resolutions. It is my life after all.
And, hey, we’ll always have Frank Jnr.
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
On a lighter note. I had to pitch to one of my New York associates recently. They didn’t have much time on their trip, so proposed we go for a run together in one of London’s many parks. (FAR SUPERIOR, I might add, to New York's offering).
My desperation got the better of me, and I agreed. Why not? I’ve done a few runs the last couple of years? I can’t be as bad as Phoebe.
Not so, it turns out. Keeping up whilst talking at the same time was a massive struggle. Dodging tourists, dogs, and people on their bikes, I tried to make my best impression, without keeling over.
God. They must have felt like they were being pitched by the asthmatic kid in Malcolm in the Middle™
Rachel’s sister Christina Applegate is back after last Thanksgiving. And oblivious as ever. Or should I say unaware? Ignorant? Heedless?
Joey is writing a letter of recommendation to the adoption agency for Chandler and Monica. Ross showed us how to use a thesaurus to help out. So I’ve been putting that into practise… execution?
Of course. NOWADAYS, you’d probably use an AI to write it FOR you, wouldn’t you? Not like the good old days, before the robots. Droids. Androids. Automatons. Mechanoids.
Bots.
In the end Joey goes old school and gives a handwritten recommendation. Which turns out super well, when they assume it was written by a child. My kids' writing is coming along now. She’s very adept at her own name. I had no idea learning to read and write was so slow! It’s hard to think back 30 years and have an accurate (faultless, meticulous) idea of how long it took when I did it.
And look at me now. Barely using a spellchecker. REACHING into the depths of my consciousness and drawing out HIGH QUALITY Friends™ related content.
It makes me wonder what my own children will come to write. Or if they’ll even write at all?
It might just all be video blogs by then.
“The One Where I Realise I Should Have Embraced Vlogging Instead of Blogging”
Phoebe and Paul Rudd are off to the Knicks game to celebrate their anniversary. (Incidentally, very much NOT how I thought you spelt “Knicks”)
One guy shoots Phoebe an annoyed look when she asks him to remove his nachos from her seat. I don’t really get this. Like when people make a big fuss from being asked to move their bag on a train. Seats are for sitting, my dude.
Shockingly, it turns out Paul Rudd intends to propose on the big screen! But bottles it after Phoebe criticises his method. Then she reverses it at the next game and proposes to him! To a chorus of boos. Hopefully these days people wouldn’t be such pricks to a woman publicly proposing at a ball game. Though it’s hard to tell with recent American developments.
It’s crazy they’ve got engaged. Mainly because my best friend, someone else I never thought would get married, has just done the same! And, get this… They even have the same name! (Gonna say Paul Rudd to avoid giving away an actual name here). Weird.
Unlike Phoebe/Rudd they’ve been with their partner this entire time. It’s bizarre to realise that somehow, despite being my best friend, they have yet to do anything suitably “Friendsy” enough to become a Real Live Friend. It’s delightful they have finally joined the roster and achieved Paul Rudd Number 1 status.
Dare I say it, possibly becoming the final Real Live Friend in the process? Time will tell.
Anyway, back to Rachel’s sister. Much like me forgetting my Best Friend all these years, she’s forgotten who Ross is. Thinking he’s a guy who sells her falafel, and not her sister's ex-husband. She seems to have a bad track record for forgetting inconvenient acquaintances; recently becoming engaged to her ex-boyfriends dad. Is that even legal?
Her level of narcissism (self-love, vanity, egoism) somehow exceeds my own, and even extends to her forgetting the name of her niece.
Maybe she should get her memory checked out?
Or maybe she just spends too much time on social media...
What is it about younger sisters and being wrapped up in their own little world (and choosing terrible men).
I’ve recently alluded to some of my sister's difficulties these last few years. Perhaps it’s time to go into a few more specifics now she’s doing a little better?
Rachel persuades her sister to dump her unsuitable man. Which turns out to be much easier for her than my sister. After dealing very poorly with the pandemic, she had a psychotic break, leaving her experience of life, shall we say, a little out of sync with the rest of us. As you can imagine, this was very difficult for the whole family. And went much further than thinking one of us had once sold her falafel.
I hope you’ll forgive me for not addressing this while it was ongoing. To be honest, it was none of your business. Though rest assured, if I’d come to watch “The One Where Joey Accuses Everyone of Being Peadophiles” I’d have been the first to mention it.
Mercifully we (eventually) were able to get her the help she needed and, as I’ve mentioned, she’s doing a lot better. Having some contact with the kids again, and catching up on lost time.
But her recovery was severely hampered by a parasitic man who weaseled his way into her life (and flat), despite being fully aware of her mental health difficulties, and refused to leave for around a year. Even as they broke up, and their relationship became increasingly toxic, he would not leave, and became increasingly unpleasant before she finally managed to get rid of him.
It’s a great relief he’s gone. But it’s an experience that has changed all of us.
Still, it could have been worse. She could’ve got my kids ears pierced whilst babysitting!
It’s funny I’ve been talking a lot about how little babysitting Rachel and Ross get. And now we have Christina Applegate babysitting Ella! (Sorry: “Emma”). AND piercing her ears without the parents consent.
From a purely selfish parenting perspective, it’s frustrating we haven’t been able to use my sister for babysitting. Not least because, having formerly worked in schools, she’s actually great with kids!
But the nature of her condition, sadly, means there’s a huge amount of trust to be rebuilt.
It also has massive ramifications (consequences, implications…) for our past relationship. I’ve had to completely re-analyse her claims regarding our secret half-brother. (Remember that??) Looking back I realise my entire experience of it only came through things she told me.
Did it really happen? Was this part of some earlier fantasy we were unaware of?
After several years, I’m now leaning more towards the latter. But am I perhaps taking the easier option? Why can’t I simply ask my parents? Because you don’t rock the boat. It’s rule number one in our family. And, surely, they’ve suffered enough the past few years?
For a long time, I’ve put the needs of the rest of them beyond my own need to know (and express) the truth. Whenever my thoughts turn back to it, I find myself thinking more philosophically. Does it really matter? Why always obsess over what’s truth and what’s fiction? Practically it makes no difference to me, one way or the other. You may wonder how I can cope with not knowing for certain. But the older I get, the more I feel like the question itself was more interesting than what may have come from asking it.
Question everything you know. But not too much. Lest you become my sister…
How can something that felt so major half a decade ago, now feel so small when put up against keeping my family together?
I’m sorry if this is unsatisfying. Sometimes life is like that, questions with no resolutions. It is my life after all.
And, hey, we’ll always have Frank Jnr.
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
On a lighter note. I had to pitch to one of my New York associates recently. They didn’t have much time on their trip, so proposed we go for a run together in one of London’s many parks. (FAR SUPERIOR, I might add, to New York's offering).
My desperation got the better of me, and I agreed. Why not? I’ve done a few runs the last couple of years? I can’t be as bad as Phoebe.
Not so, it turns out. Keeping up whilst talking at the same time was a massive struggle. Dodging tourists, dogs, and people on their bikes, I tried to make my best impression, without keeling over.
God. They must have felt like they were being pitched by the asthmatic kid in Malcolm in the Middle™
