At last. Here we are! The tenth year. The home straight.
And here I am. New York. The big fruit. And the big apple. Together at last.
JFK once said “Most cities are nouns, but New York is a verb.” And I certainly seem to be doing a lot, as I navigate the bustling streets of Manhattan to try and make the most of my trip.
It’s always a little strange being in New York. A place I’ve visited so many times through various media. Spiderman™ videogames, Grand Theft Auto™’s “Liberty City”, not to mention the numerous appearances in film and TV. Both times I’ve come in real life, there’s been an uncanny valley feeling of already having been here much more than I actually have. A strange unexpected side effect of our digital world, as we move to ever more impressive fictional realities.
I’m not the only one doing some travelling. Of our original gang, we’ve almost got a Friends Royal Flush of people who’ve moved away:
My Rachel Number 1 and Ross Number 2 have just gone to France. Taking their little Emma Number 1 with them.
Joey Number 1 is long gone. Last I heard, somewhere in Scandinavia, perhaps lusting after busty blondes like his namesake?
Chandler Number 1 is travelling round for work. Although at least I managed to see them fairly recently. To confirm that (unlike me) they are not pursuing a career in writing like Chandler is.
Likewise Monica Number 2 is abroad, though I suspect not a chef.
And lets not even mention David the Science Guy, who is now doing LITERALLY THE SAME JOB AS HIS AMERICAN NAMESAKE and trying to prove the existence of new physics particles. Lets hope he has more success than Phoebe’s one. He’s certainly doing better with the ladies, like me, married with two kids. Whereas American David’s just been spurned by Phoebe for Paul Rudd.
And now Paul Rudd needs to break up with his Girlfriend! And on her birthday too. Yikes.
I attended a birthday party with a friend on my first night here, feeling a little awkward at not having a present. I was doing my best to meet some new people, (purely for networking purposes I should stress, in case my wife is reading), but my mate kept trying to tell me about this dream they had about me having wooden teeth! So annoying.
It’s also a bit annoying being introduced to people as an aspiring comedy writer to be honest. People keep saying things like “watch out what you say to this guy, he’ll put it in his act”. They think they’re so damn original.
But the weirdest thing was, when I arrived at the friends flat where I’m staying, I found out their parents are here from out of town and sleeping on the sofa bed! I know the city’s supposed to be crowded, but this is something else.
Yet another irritating thing about my trip, is I can’t even meet up with my American Friends™ while I’m here, as they’re still in Barbados!
“The One With the Parents Sleepover”
Firstly. Lets just get this out in the open. Monica is WAY too enthusiastic about listening to her brother have sex.
Her, Phoebe, and Chandler are staying in the middle room, and overhear both Ross getting with Charlie, AND Rachel hooking up with Joey.
But just as it’s getting good, Ross decides to go get permission from Joey to steal his girlfriend. But only finds a confused Rachel, after Chandler extracts Joey from the hotel room with the efficiency of an SAS/SWAT team.
After Ross leaves, the others confess their perving to Joey and Rachel. But rather than giving them some privacy, they act incredibly creepy and insensitive about the situation. Not that it matters as both Joey and Rachel can’t get Ross out of their head anyway.
And here I am. New York. The big fruit. And the big apple. Together at last.
JFK once said “Most cities are nouns, but New York is a verb.” And I certainly seem to be doing a lot, as I navigate the bustling streets of Manhattan to try and make the most of my trip.
It’s always a little strange being in New York. A place I’ve visited so many times through various media. Spiderman™ videogames, Grand Theft Auto™’s “Liberty City”, not to mention the numerous appearances in film and TV. Both times I’ve come in real life, there’s been an uncanny valley feeling of already having been here much more than I actually have. A strange unexpected side effect of our digital world, as we move to ever more impressive fictional realities.
I’m not the only one doing some travelling. Of our original gang, we’ve almost got a Friends Royal Flush of people who’ve moved away:
My Rachel Number 1 and Ross Number 2 have just gone to France. Taking their little Emma Number 1 with them.
Joey Number 1 is long gone. Last I heard, somewhere in Scandinavia, perhaps lusting after busty blondes like his namesake?
Chandler Number 1 is travelling round for work. Although at least I managed to see them fairly recently. To confirm that (unlike me) they are not pursuing a career in writing like Chandler is.
Likewise Monica Number 2 is abroad, though I suspect not a chef.
And lets not even mention David the Science Guy, who is now doing LITERALLY THE SAME JOB AS HIS AMERICAN NAMESAKE and trying to prove the existence of new physics particles. Lets hope he has more success than Phoebe’s one. He’s certainly doing better with the ladies, like me, married with two kids. Whereas American David’s just been spurned by Phoebe for Paul Rudd.
And now Paul Rudd needs to break up with his Girlfriend! And on her birthday too. Yikes.
I attended a birthday party with a friend on my first night here, feeling a little awkward at not having a present. I was doing my best to meet some new people, (purely for networking purposes I should stress, in case my wife is reading), but my mate kept trying to tell me about this dream they had about me having wooden teeth! So annoying.
It’s also a bit annoying being introduced to people as an aspiring comedy writer to be honest. People keep saying things like “watch out what you say to this guy, he’ll put it in his act”. They think they’re so damn original.
But the weirdest thing was, when I arrived at the friends flat where I’m staying, I found out their parents are here from out of town and sleeping on the sofa bed! I know the city’s supposed to be crowded, but this is something else.
Yet another irritating thing about my trip, is I can’t even meet up with my American Friends™ while I’m here, as they’re still in Barbados!
“The One With the Parents Sleepover”
Firstly. Lets just get this out in the open. Monica is WAY too enthusiastic about listening to her brother have sex.
Her, Phoebe, and Chandler are staying in the middle room, and overhear both Ross getting with Charlie, AND Rachel hooking up with Joey.
But just as it’s getting good, Ross decides to go get permission from Joey to steal his girlfriend. But only finds a confused Rachel, after Chandler extracts Joey from the hotel room with the efficiency of an SAS/SWAT team.
After Ross leaves, the others confess their perving to Joey and Rachel. But rather than giving them some privacy, they act incredibly creepy and insensitive about the situation. Not that it matters as both Joey and Rachel can’t get Ross out of their head anyway.
So they decide to clear the air with him first. Maybe I’m misremembering here, but I feel like Ross already gave Joey his blessing with Rachel after the whole “fake proposal” thing?
It’s amazing how much being older changes things. The level of respect and communication of a thirty something is far removed from the actions of a young adult in a similiar situation. The closest I came to this was in my first year of university where I, to my shame, conducted a double betrayal. Cheating on my new partner with my new best friends ex.
Thinking back to then I can see why Joey might be so concerned. Although our friendship recovered it was never quite the same. And it’s safe to say our relationships with the women involved were significantly more damaged.
In the end Joey bottles telling Ross on the plane home. Though at least tells Ross he’s totally fine with the Charlie thing. And Rachel bottles it too, after seeing how angry Ross gets over his bottles of stolen hotel shampoo breaking on the way home. Sadly, bottling things up lest you anger your partner is, I’m sure, something we can all relate.
But, I feel the obvious solution here is, why don’t Joey and Rachel BOTH just tell him? Oh wait… that’s what they’re going to do. Until they leave it too late and Ross catches them at it!
Drama.
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
In an attempt to control her unruly hair, Monica gets some cornrows, which she loves, but leaves the rest of us feeling uneasy.
Strangely, this is another thing that happened in my life. Back at university, one summer Rachel Number 1 got some, very stylish, beautifully done cornrows before we went off on holiday. Which, at the time, we all pretended looked great, but with hindsight, would nowadays be castigated as cultural appropriation.
It’s amazing how much being older changes things. The level of respect and communication of a thirty something is far removed from the actions of a young adult in a similiar situation. The closest I came to this was in my first year of university where I, to my shame, conducted a double betrayal. Cheating on my new partner with my new best friends ex.
Thinking back to then I can see why Joey might be so concerned. Although our friendship recovered it was never quite the same. And it’s safe to say our relationships with the women involved were significantly more damaged.
In the end Joey bottles telling Ross on the plane home. Though at least tells Ross he’s totally fine with the Charlie thing. And Rachel bottles it too, after seeing how angry Ross gets over his bottles of stolen hotel shampoo breaking on the way home. Sadly, bottling things up lest you anger your partner is, I’m sure, something we can all relate.
But, I feel the obvious solution here is, why don’t Joey and Rachel BOTH just tell him? Oh wait… that’s what they’re going to do. Until they leave it too late and Ross catches them at it!
Drama.
Real Live Sitcom Moment:
In an attempt to control her unruly hair, Monica gets some cornrows, which she loves, but leaves the rest of us feeling uneasy.
Strangely, this is another thing that happened in my life. Back at university, one summer Rachel Number 1 got some, very stylish, beautifully done cornrows before we went off on holiday. Which, at the time, we all pretended looked great, but with hindsight, would nowadays be castigated as cultural appropriation.