Real Live Sitcom Moment:
Just as Phoebe’s got married, it looks like my marriage is running into some difficulty.
My wife has become increasingly unhappy with me being away. And now also angry I aired our problems publicly last week.
I completely understand of course, I’ve always trod a fine line between sharing the truth, and not giving away too much detail that might hurt my family. But it’s harder when I’m not present to smooth over any tensions created by my foolish pursuit.
What else am I supposed to talk about? A millennial I met recently described Friends™ thus:
“It’s boring. Nothing happens and everyone’s white.”
Perhaps I could have saved a lot of time the last ten years by just glibly tweeting that instead?
I decided not to respond by pointing out that they too, were white, and checked my phone instead.
A message from Rachel Number 1:
“Just caught up with your blog, I thought you said nothing much was going on last time we spoke! Clearly that was a lie. I demand an update.”
So I told them all about New York. The new job, and the fun I’ve been having. But glossed over the loneliness.
The other day, I realised, sitting in Central Perk™ with my Friends™, it’s almost certain that over the rest of my life I will spend more time interacting with characters in virtual worlds in videogames than I will with my actual friends. And there seems very little I can do about that. When you put it together, in the last decade, I’ve spent less than 4 days total with my Friends™. Far less time than I’ve spent sitting alone considering my response to what's happened each week.
I wonder, is the reason some millennials don’t like Friends™ simply because they themselves no longer hang out with their friends that much? Whether due to technology, lack of available spaces, or simply through getting older.
Actually isn’t that transition from relying on friendships to family ultimately what Friends™ is about?
And how, in the end, you’re always left with your family. The majority of whom are people you didn’t choose, and who you may not actually like that much.
“The One With the True Meaning of FriendsMass”
First up, a double serving of classic Joey & Phoebe action! As she’s already returned from her honeymoon and gone straight back to shunning her family in favour of her friends.
I’m not sure I can really add anything to these:
Just as Phoebe’s got married, it looks like my marriage is running into some difficulty.
My wife has become increasingly unhappy with me being away. And now also angry I aired our problems publicly last week.
I completely understand of course, I’ve always trod a fine line between sharing the truth, and not giving away too much detail that might hurt my family. But it’s harder when I’m not present to smooth over any tensions created by my foolish pursuit.
What else am I supposed to talk about? A millennial I met recently described Friends™ thus:
“It’s boring. Nothing happens and everyone’s white.”
Perhaps I could have saved a lot of time the last ten years by just glibly tweeting that instead?
I decided not to respond by pointing out that they too, were white, and checked my phone instead.
A message from Rachel Number 1:
“Just caught up with your blog, I thought you said nothing much was going on last time we spoke! Clearly that was a lie. I demand an update.”
So I told them all about New York. The new job, and the fun I’ve been having. But glossed over the loneliness.
The other day, I realised, sitting in Central Perk™ with my Friends™, it’s almost certain that over the rest of my life I will spend more time interacting with characters in virtual worlds in videogames than I will with my actual friends. And there seems very little I can do about that. When you put it together, in the last decade, I’ve spent less than 4 days total with my Friends™. Far less time than I’ve spent sitting alone considering my response to what's happened each week.
I wonder, is the reason some millennials don’t like Friends™ simply because they themselves no longer hang out with their friends that much? Whether due to technology, lack of available spaces, or simply through getting older.
Actually isn’t that transition from relying on friendships to family ultimately what Friends™ is about?
And how, in the end, you’re always left with your family. The majority of whom are people you didn’t choose, and who you may not actually like that much.
“The One With the True Meaning of FriendsMass”
First up, a double serving of classic Joey & Phoebe action! As she’s already returned from her honeymoon and gone straight back to shunning her family in favour of her friends.
I’m not sure I can really add anything to these:
Elsewhere, Anna Faris is back. To make me feel better about my lack of wife, and Paul Rudd no longer being single.
She wants to go see the Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty. I’ve done that! And not just in Spiderman™. For some reason she doesn’t suggest going to Ground Zero... perhaps she’s an Al Qaeda sympathiser?
She reveals to us that her unborn child (soon to be adopted by Chanica) may have been fathered by a man who’s in prison for killing his dad with a shovel. Holy shit… I wonder if it’s Phoebe’s Step-Dad? We never did find out what he did.
Needless to say, this worries Chandler no end. Don’t worry mate, I’m sure Monica will protect you!
That’s not the only sad dad news. Rachel’s dad is in hospital after a heart attack. I feel blessed that, although we’ve had some scares, it looks like I’ve got to the end without losing a parent. Though seeing Rachel’s dad like that (even if he is his usual irascible self) does bring up some difficult memories of my father’s, mercifully brief, spell in hospital the Christmas before last.
Wow… was that really over a year ago? At the time it felt so serious. It shakes you seeing a parent fully vulnerable for the first time. Yet he seems to have bounced back as strong as ever. The man is a beast. Hopefully the same will happen for Rachel’s dad. It’s strange to think that after something so major our relationship has barely changed. Though he always seems even happier to see the kids now. (That’s my dad, not Rachel’s).
Rachel is (likewise) pretty shook up by her dad, and throws herself at Ross for comfort. Cause nothing gets you horny like seeing your dad with a catheter in. Ross gallantly refuses, congratulating himself for doing so as he “hasn’t had sex in four months”. I’m not sure who this was with. By my records, this was around the time of Emma’s birthday. Wheeler was out the picture, and Rachel was trying to make things work with Joey.
Oh hey! I just realised this means we can finalise the Ross Sex Tally!! Wow, I never thought I’d come back to THAT.
For those who don’t remember: About ten years ago, Ross told me he lost his virginity to his first wife. So, naturally, I realised I could count all his partners to get his actual number. (We later found out he actually lost his virginity to a lady who cleaned his dorm room, but it’s safe to say that’s probably the only one he lied about. Unless he somehow had a more embarrassing one…)
I think the last time I brought it up we were around nine? And now (drum roll please…) we’re at fourteen!
Or fifteen if the last person wasn’t Wheeler. Dammit. The ONE thing I thought we would know for certain…
Anyway. Before they kissed, Ross was excited to be in THE Rachel Green's teenage room. I totally get this. I still remember the excitement of me and my wife's first kiss being in the room of my childhood sweetheart. (For clarity: they were the same person.). How did I end up there? What could it all possibly mean? We had no idea that day where it would lead us. Two kids, a house, a handful of compromises, and a vasectomy.
The next day, Rachel takes Ross to task for not taking advantage of her.
Did Ross do the right thing? Or is Rachel right that she can make her own decisions and he should have comforted her? I’m not sure I know. Send your answers on a postcard, if anyone needs me I’ll be taking Anna Faris up the Statue of Liberty.
(Before the French reclaim it…)
Rachel and Ross pledge to never have sex again. And begin reminiscing about all the good times. Oh no! Saying they don’t want to do it ever again makes them want to do it even more…
Finally Rachel responds by saying sex with them is never off the table, and walks off to her bedroom.
Yet Ross DOESN’T immediately go after her. The damn fool.
She wants to go see the Empire State Building and the Statue of Liberty. I’ve done that! And not just in Spiderman™. For some reason she doesn’t suggest going to Ground Zero... perhaps she’s an Al Qaeda sympathiser?
She reveals to us that her unborn child (soon to be adopted by Chanica) may have been fathered by a man who’s in prison for killing his dad with a shovel. Holy shit… I wonder if it’s Phoebe’s Step-Dad? We never did find out what he did.
Needless to say, this worries Chandler no end. Don’t worry mate, I’m sure Monica will protect you!
That’s not the only sad dad news. Rachel’s dad is in hospital after a heart attack. I feel blessed that, although we’ve had some scares, it looks like I’ve got to the end without losing a parent. Though seeing Rachel’s dad like that (even if he is his usual irascible self) does bring up some difficult memories of my father’s, mercifully brief, spell in hospital the Christmas before last.
Wow… was that really over a year ago? At the time it felt so serious. It shakes you seeing a parent fully vulnerable for the first time. Yet he seems to have bounced back as strong as ever. The man is a beast. Hopefully the same will happen for Rachel’s dad. It’s strange to think that after something so major our relationship has barely changed. Though he always seems even happier to see the kids now. (That’s my dad, not Rachel’s).
Rachel is (likewise) pretty shook up by her dad, and throws herself at Ross for comfort. Cause nothing gets you horny like seeing your dad with a catheter in. Ross gallantly refuses, congratulating himself for doing so as he “hasn’t had sex in four months”. I’m not sure who this was with. By my records, this was around the time of Emma’s birthday. Wheeler was out the picture, and Rachel was trying to make things work with Joey.
Oh hey! I just realised this means we can finalise the Ross Sex Tally!! Wow, I never thought I’d come back to THAT.
For those who don’t remember: About ten years ago, Ross told me he lost his virginity to his first wife. So, naturally, I realised I could count all his partners to get his actual number. (We later found out he actually lost his virginity to a lady who cleaned his dorm room, but it’s safe to say that’s probably the only one he lied about. Unless he somehow had a more embarrassing one…)
I think the last time I brought it up we were around nine? And now (drum roll please…) we’re at fourteen!
Or fifteen if the last person wasn’t Wheeler. Dammit. The ONE thing I thought we would know for certain…
Anyway. Before they kissed, Ross was excited to be in THE Rachel Green's teenage room. I totally get this. I still remember the excitement of me and my wife's first kiss being in the room of my childhood sweetheart. (For clarity: they were the same person.). How did I end up there? What could it all possibly mean? We had no idea that day where it would lead us. Two kids, a house, a handful of compromises, and a vasectomy.
The next day, Rachel takes Ross to task for not taking advantage of her.
Did Ross do the right thing? Or is Rachel right that she can make her own decisions and he should have comforted her? I’m not sure I know. Send your answers on a postcard, if anyone needs me I’ll be taking Anna Faris up the Statue of Liberty.
(Before the French reclaim it…)
Rachel and Ross pledge to never have sex again. And begin reminiscing about all the good times. Oh no! Saying they don’t want to do it ever again makes them want to do it even more…
Finally Rachel responds by saying sex with them is never off the table, and walks off to her bedroom.
Yet Ross DOESN’T immediately go after her. The damn fool.
